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Part-time party girl Harriet Minter toasts the quiet celebration – pleasure, reflection, escapism or sugar rush, just make it special for you
Afew years ago, I decided I would start the new year as I meant to go on by attending a gong bath at 11am on New Year’s Day. Despite the usual overly indulgent evening the night before, I made it to the class and took my place with the other blearyeyed wannabe hippies. The gong master, as such people are called, arrived and it was clear that he’d had a different new year to the rest of us. Bright-eyed and overflowing with enthusiasm, there wasn’t a moment when I wondered whether a hangover would impede his swinging (at the gong, you know). So attracted to his health and vitality was I that I began to wonder if this year was in fact the year I was meant to date a gong master, or someone of that ilk.
When the class ended, a few of us who’d clearly had the same idea hung back to talk to him. We asked him how he’d celebrated new year and he replied with an answer I’ve never forgotten: ‘A gentle celebration. We lit the fire and ate some fruit.’ Ate some fruit? As a celebration?
Unsurprisingly, me and the gong master never happened but I have started to feel his influence in how I like to celebrate. While I have a savings fund for my 40th and my friends with children have been ordered to book a babysitter on the most expensive night of the year – my birthday is on New Year’s Eve – I enjoy a quieter celebration too these days.
Last birthday, I danced the night away but, before that, I had a little celebration on my own. I woke up late and read my book in bed for an hour, then I took myself for a facial and finished off with a coffee and slice of cake at my favourite cafe. It was the perfect quiet celebration of my life.
There is a lot to be said for a quiet celebration. That said, just as I might buy a new dress and plan how I am going to do my hair for a big party, there is planning to do for a quiet celebration too. A quiet celebration should be a loud celebration of the things you believe to be true indulgence: That bottle of wine you love but generally consider too expensive, a morning in bed without constant demands… Or a fire and some delicious fruit, eaten slowly with someone you love.
What feels like indulgence for you, and how can you make sure your celebration includes it? How can you ensure that you have the time free of responsibilities, so you can be fully present with the experience? It is this presence, this slowing down, that makes a quiet celebration special. You don’t need the stimulants of a buzzing party to find joy, you need the serene focus that comes with peeling a tangerine and truly tasting every segment. If that’s not quite your bag, I’ve discovered that making a cake from scratch and licking the bowl while you contemplate the dawning of another new year is a pretty celebratory way to start it too. Just watch out for the sugar hangover.
AI want to leap into the unknown and follow my dreams. I have been inundated with messages from women who said This Girl Is On Fire made a difference to their lives. I want to build a membership where women can grow. I want to pass on what I’ve learned about breaking through fear, anxiety and stress. I know that doing something incredible also means doing something that scares you. For every ‘what if you fall?’ thought, there is a ‘what if you fly?’ whisper.
Your appearance on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins in 2019 triggered a breakdown when you were overcome by past trauma that you had buried. Would you be in the positive place you are in now without the pain of that breakdown?
AWhy, after 13 years on Loose Women, did you decide to leave?
No, I would still have been lugging it all around. I think after having a hysterectomy in 2017, followed by a health scare [Mclean had medical investigations for
inspire millions of women around the world to ‘live, learn and thrive in a life they love’ through her female empowerment site, This Girl is on Fire. Mclean’s books ‘Confessions Of A Good Girl’ and ‘Confessions Of A Menopausal Woman’ were both No 1 bestsellers and she recently published ‘This Girl Is On Fire’, in which she nudges, cajoles and persuades us to be our best self in her kind, big sister way. Mclean, mother to Finlay, 19, and Amy, 13, is determined to help others by speaking openly about her journey to healing from trauma and toxic relationships – and taking her third husband, Nick Feeney, to therapy.