“I make the same resolutions every year but get nowhere ”

Kim Morgan

Session two

Millie had bought a journal and held it up to the screen to show me all the pages she had filled with notes. ‘Making my goals specific has been transformational,’ she beamed. ‘I have realised that I don’t want to lose weight – my goal is to keep my body toned, exercised and flexible into my old age. I am taking up yoga and walking for an hour every day. This is not a short-term, quick-fix goal, but a mission for my life,’ she declared. ‘It feels good to have a sense of purpose instead of a “should do” goal,’ she added.

She had also changed her aim to ‘be more adventurous’ to ‘do one new thing every week’ and had started keeping a record of her activities. ‘They may be as simple as buying different food or changing my hairstyle, or they may be more challenging but, for now, I want to practise stepping outside my comfort zone.’

Millie had also written the two letters to herself from her older self and they had made a big difference to her motivation. ‘I am going to keep these letters forever to remind me which version of me I want to be in the future,’ she said. ‘Otherwise, without even noticing, I could become the old lady who never made any changes.’

“You’ll have days when you don’t stick to your goals. It happens to even the most motivated people

Session three

Millie had lapsed and was beating herself up. ‘What is the voice in your head saying?’ I asked. ‘It says that I am lazy, a quitter and not the sort of person who makes things happen,’ she said.

‘Imagine that someone was following you around and accusing you of those things. How would it feel?’ I asked.

‘I would feel attacked,’ she admitted. I encouraged Millie to change the words she used when she spoke to herself for kinder ones. She immediately remembered her favourite quote: ‘It’s never too late to be who you might have been’– George Eliot.

I saw Millie months later. She was full of confidence and couldn’t wait to show me the Eliot quote tattooed on her arm. ‘You went from buying new cereal to getting a tattoo!’ I laughed. We chatted and celebrated her progress, and I reflected on how endlessly wonderful and surprising people can be.

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