People pleasing

You may not think of yourself as a stereotypical people pleaser – you stand up for yourself when it matters and won’t put yourself out for just anyone, but even mild people-pleasing tendencies can get in the way of an inner voice. It could be your gut instinct that tells you it’s the right thing to go the extra mile to support someone in crisis, or be the one that steps up and makes a difference, but if you find yourself regularly tolerating inconvenience or uncomfortable feelings so others don’t have to, you’re people pleasing. Sometimes, it’s a temporary response to pressure or challenge – you may not have the capacity to fight any battles right now, or it may be that focusing on others’ problems puts yours into perspective but, sometimes, never asking for help or talking about your concerns is a way of keeping people safely at arm’s length.

Redressing the balance and reconnecting with your intuition starts with moving from reactive to reflective mode. Pausing, checking in with your feelings and asking, ‘How am I reacting? What are my thoughts and emotions?’ before committing to anything or responding is a good start.