HOW TO HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS

‘Grief is experienced differently by everyone, but one common element is the type of comments grieving people might say or thoughts they may think, such as “I should feel differently”, “I should be able to cope” or “I should feel the same as others”,’ says Dr Radha. ‘It’s important to try to allay these fears and worries for yourself and others and understand that although grief is a personal experience, it’s beneficial to:

Feel the feelings: Allow yourself space to be with the feelings you are experiencing – try not to feel bad or guilty or compare yourself with others. Understand that difficult feelings come with loss.

Understand that grief is timeless: For many people, the intensity of feelings will diminish over a period of time but, for others, it may take longer. It’s important to remind yourself and others that there is no set time for grief.

Take care of your body: Physical care can fall by the wayside when going through the turmoil of grief, but looking after your physical health will help you get through psychological stress. This includes getting a good night’s sleep, eating well, exercising and taking time out for mindfulness and reflection.

Distract yourself: Doing something that makes you feel good can often be a welcome distraction from challenging thoughts and feelings. Try something absorbing, such as drawing, gardening, reading a book or watching a movie to help give your mind a break.

Give to others: Sometimes, giving to others or an act of kindness can help you feel better. Consider volunteering, delivering groceries or calling someone who may be lonely – compassionate acts might help you with your grief.’