What needs your attention during times of change?

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ♥

Self acceptance

Even expected transitions can be unsettling, so it’s no surprise your general mindset is affected. You may find yourself feeling low for what seems like no reason, struggling with motivation, or just not feeling like ‘yourself’. It can be hard to hang onto supportive lifestyle habits, which further undermines your resilience. At its worst, you can feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster and, when you get hijacked by your moods, it’s easy to let your feelings drive your choices and decisions.

But emotions are like the weather, and the only thing we can know for certain about them is that they will change – how you feel today is unlikely to be how you will feel tomorrow. Sometimes, it’s not our mood itself that undermines or disrupts us, but our response to it. Try sitting with your feelings, and working on self acceptance. Check in with the ‘weather pattern’ inside you throughout the day and notice the stories your mind is telling you – and whether you are basing your choices on the belief that these stories are true. While you wait for the storm to pass, be your own best friend, and remind yourself of times you successfully navigated transitions in the past.

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Self nurturing

When all feels uncertain, do you find it hard to make even the simplest of decisions, or to plan ahead? Transitions can affect us on a physical, psychological and emotional level, and there are times when we need to lower our expectations of what we can achieve. Even driven and focused individuals can find themselves suddenly feeling directionless during times of change.

It may be that your focus needs to narrow for a while, simplifying your goals to what is really important. Try to shift your focus from getting things back to the way they were – transitions can bring powerful and positive growth if we lean in rather than resist changes that are out of our control. Right now, you need to be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to tread water until the storm passes. When it’s calmer, what really matters to you will be much clearer, whether it is approaching an established routine with new insight or taking a leap and doing something completely different. In the meantime, surround yourself with uplifting people. Spending time with like-minded people who share your passions, vision or goals will make it easier for you to find the right path, when the time is right. And small moments of shared humour and kindness are invaluable during times of transition.

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Self belief

If you’re normally the sort of person who deals with most things that come your way, it can be deeply unsettling to experience a transition that leaves you questioning whether you can cope. In the short term, a tried and tested ‘fake it ’til you make it’ strategy might be enough to get you by. But if a confidence wobble persists, you can start to lose sight of what you’re good at, or where you are valued.

A natural response is to retreat into your comfort zone, whether consciously or unconsciously, and avoid challenging situations. Our default response when we’re feeling vulnerable is often to shrink our life and make it smaller, and it may seem like you’re being kind to yourself by avoiding situations that make you feel unsure of yourself or anxious. The downside is that you never get to prove to yourself that you can deal with difficult situations and survive them. But if you can, resist the instinct to withdraw and, instead, reach out and create a support network. Think about who you can trust to talk to about how you are feeling. Or is there an online community where you can connect with members who have gone through a similar transition? If you open up, you may find you are not alone.

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Self identity

When you’re going through changes, sometimes it can be hard to hang on to a solid sense of self. Change can make us question how others perceive us, as identity is often tied up in what we can do and how we live our lives. It makes sense that if your self-identity is built on your relationships with others, and it matters what other people think of you, you may feel particularly vulnerable during times of transition.

It’s a natural reaction to resist change, or to believe that maintaining the status quo is your best option. But adapting to changes that are not of your choosing is not about compromising or giving in – it’s about being flexible and responsive. Working out what you feel or think about the changes to your life can be hard enough, but it becomes all the more confusing if it’s caught up with concern for what others are thinking about you. If you have a vocal inner critic, it’s easy for you to assume that others are also assessing or judging you. Letting go of overthinking about whether others approve of you is the first step in strengthening your sense of identity. Remember, a shift in identity may be unsettling, but it can also be an opportunity to take stock, reassess, grow and flourish.