Learn to recognise anxious thinking

If we can learn to recognise when our anxiety is about to take hold and remind ourselves that it’s just our thoughts – and nothing scarier than that – we have a better chance of keeping it in check. Because we hear our own negativity so often, we start to believe it and don’t stop to see whether that niggling, unhelpful voice in our minds is right or not.

One of the first steps in controlling our anxiety is to train ourselves to question our thinking by drawing on past experiences that have had a positive outcome. The more you can remind yourself of the times you’ve been strong, capable and have coped, the more you’ll be able to loosen anxiety’s grip and talk yourself into a calmer mindset.

Whenever you can feel your anxiety increasing, try using the Catch It, Check It, Challenge It, Change It technique. It works like this:

Catch the unhelpful thought: e.g. ‘I can’t do this: I’m rubbish at my job and should be sacked.’

Check the thought: Is it justified? Or are you exaggerating? What evidence is there to support that thought? e.g. ‘Last time I had to perform this task, a colleague told me I was doing it all wrong, but I did manage to finish it.’

Challenge the thought: What evidence is there that goes against this negative thought? Is there a positive thought you can use to challenge it? e.g. ‘My boss said the report I handed in last month was excellent and he’s going to share it with the CEO.’

Change the thought: Is there a more balanced way of thinking about this? e.g. ‘I might find it difficult but

I coped last time and got really great feedback.’

Think of an unhelpful thought you’re experiencing now and use it for the activity. Perhaps you’re worried you’re going to get laughed at when you give a speech next week, or maybe you’re worried that people won’t like you at your new job. Whatever the thought is that’s bothering you, doing this will help you learn to accept your anxiety and be able to put things into perspective.

An affirmation is a short, positive sentence designed to help you feel better, calmer, more confident and compassionate towards yourself. They’re best said aloud, in front of a mirror, but you can think or say them to yourself anytime, anywhere!

Once your body starts to feel calmer, it’s useful to have an affirmation that works well to soothe your anxious thoughts. The more you repeat a certain mantra, the more powerful it will be against anxiety. This is because each time you think something, the brain believes it that bit more. So, replacing anxious thoughts with positive affirmations weakens your negative beliefs, while strengthening the new, positive ones. Try incorporating an affirmation or two into your morning routine.

Again, what works for you will be unique to you. Here are some ideas for anxietysoothing affirmations. You can use any of these as they are, adapt them or make up your own:

● I’m safe

● I am loved

● The world is a kind place

● As I relax, anxiety flows out of me

● I am capable of anything

● I can do this

● One step at a time

● I can do the next right thing

● I am brave

● I am in control

● I can let go of what I cannot control

● This will pass

● It’s okay to make mistakes

● I trust myself

● I have everything I need

● I can cope

● I trust the process