T Building your emotional toolkit
aking time to slow down, turn it down, and recalibrate in these quieter autumnal weeks will help build up some reserves in your tank. When December comes, you’ll be feeling stronger, calmer and ready for the action, rather than hiding under the duvet filled with dread.
The first time I did ‘dry November’ was a few years ago. I was busy but not achieving very much, and catching every bug going, and knew that I needed to up the self-care if I was going to cope with December and all it inevitably brings. As well as cutting out the booze, I had more early nights, slept better (thanks to no wine) and was surprisingly, quietly productive. For the first time, I felt ready for Christmas. I was calm and rested, my decks were cleared, and my usual stressed out, cynical self was nowhere to be seen. It really opened my eyes to how topping up the tank now can be a total game changer for the weeks ahead. Judith Kleinman, author of Finding Quiet Strength, likens it to building and organising your emotional toolkit: ‘I think of it as gathering the skills, or tools, so you’re refreshed, ready, and in a stable emotional state when things become busy and stressful,’ she says. Having experienced the festive season in a not-very-stable emotional state, I can vouch for the difference a steady foundation makes.
Resting doesn’t come easily or naturally to many of us, but if you understand that rest can take many forms, it will be easier to find a way for you to fit more restful activities into your day (for me, it was a 30-day yoga programme I did for up to half an hour in the evening before bed). And while we tend to think of the new year as the best time for a mental reset, if you go too long without giving your mind the chance to recalibrate, you can end up very stressed and overwhelmed. ‘It’s like releasing the pressure that’s built up so you can then go out and reconnect with the world,’ says Kleinman. Stealing some quiet time in November has now become a habit that I look forward to – the secret to enjoying Christmas, rather than just surviving it. As coach Marina Fernández Julián says, ‘Once you’ve taken some time out, you can go back outside, play big, and spread around your new zest for life.’