What do you most need to take a break from?

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ♥

Caring

For you, meaningful relationships are what life’s all about, and you know that being open about the tough times builds intimacy and a deep connection. But it’s hard to let go enough to get really restorative rest when your peace of mind is tied up with what other people think, and how they’re feeling. Being immersed in the emotional lives of your friends or your family can provide meaning and purpose but, without boundaries, it can also become depleting.

Giving without getting enough back to recharge your resources can have a drip-drip effect, leaving you constantly craving rest. When you have a naturally empathic nature, it can be hard to draw a line and say enough is enough, especially if you can also feel energised by your emotional connections. It’s getting drawn into drama and conflict or trying to sort out other people’s problems that can gradually drain reserves. But watch what gets triggered when good friends do share their problems with you. Do you get that sense that they leave the conversation feeling lighter, and you walk away carrying their burden? The key to restorative rest for you is putting that burden down, and seeing what happens – you might be surprised at how well people cope.

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ◆ Thinking

Mind and body are in constant communication, so an overthinking mind can quickly undo the benefits of any break or relaxation exercise. And when you’re in full overthinking mode, it may even feel that rest is impossible or pointless – ever spent a yoga class or walk on autopilot, as your mind churned though your to-do list? You may be well aware that you need to turn down your internal stress dial, but you can also tell yourself that your overthinking habit is normal, or that it’s even useful.

Of course, there is an upside to an active mind and imagination, but an analytical mind can become an overthinking one if it sucks you into a toxic spiral of ‘what ifs’ and worse-case scenarios. You may tell yourself that you just like to be prepared, as you endlessly run through all the possible consequences of any decision you might make. But the truth is that worry only gives you the illusion of control. It’s hard to think yourself out of overthinking, so try distraction instead – find a creative activity that’s challenging enough to require a level of concentration, such as a craft or new exercise class. Rest doesn’t always have to be passive and, for some of us, active rest offers the deepest restoration.

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ● Striving

Whether you identify as a perfectionist or just consider yourself conscientious, people who set the bar high for themselves can often struggle to prioritise rest if it doesn’t seem to have a ‘purpose’. When in balance, a commitment to personal growth and reaching your full potential can be energising, providing a sense of meaning to life. And fostering curiosity for life and learning can be sustaining in a busy life, protecting you from getting stuck in an energy-zapping routine. But you may find it hard not to overschedule or be over ambitious about what you achieve with your time, and sometimes your enthusiasm to do everything can work against you. And if you’re not careful, even those activities you’ve included in your life to help you recharge – such as meditation or yoga – can become another task you have to ‘do well’ at.

Next time you do something that you regard as rest, check in with yourself about how you feel afterwards – if you’re left feeling unsettled about how you did, rather than relaxed, it’s time to drop it from the list and try something else. Sometimes, the best rest is spontaneous and happens in the gaps in between plans and projects.

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ■ Judging

Your biggest barrier to truly restorative rest is knowing when you have done enough to ‘deserve’ it. If taking time out comes with the shadow of guilt, it will leave you feeling uneasy rather than recharged. It’s hard to feel okay about taking care of yourself if your default mindset is self-criticism. Sometimes, a self-attacking mindset can become so ingrained that it feels like ‘self-awareness’ or ‘being realistic’ rather than criticism. Or you may feel you’re motivating yourself when, instead of recognising when you’re in need of rest, you berate yourself for not being able to cope and keep going.

The irony is that you may be super-supportive of other people’s self-care, encouraging them to get the rest they need to recharge. But different rules seem to apply for you, making it hard for you to ever feel like it’s okay to invest the time and resources needed to find what you need to properly relax. Deep down, you know that no one needs permission to take care of themselves or should have to earn the right to rest. So it’s time to commit to making self-care a priority, not least because ensuring that you feel rested and recharged on a regular basis will help you gain the perspective you need to treat yourself with more self-compassion.