TAKE A BREATH
Hollywood child actress Rachel Hurd-wood swapped the red carpet for a yoga mat in her new life as a Pilates teacher and mum of two
For years, I would manage any difficult or unpleasant emotions with compulsive behaviour. Sitting with anything negative felt intolerable, so I’d go into octopus mode; tentacles reaching out to whatever they could find. Toblerone, tequila, Topshop (RIP). Anything that would blot out the discomfort. When it became apparent that this was unsustainable, I got help. Loads of it. But it can all be distilled into one handy phrase: the golden pause. Putting space between a feeling and an action means there’s time for it to pass without doing anything regrettable.
The easiest way to create that space is through mindful breathing. It’s no revelation that taking slow, deep breaths promotes a sense of calm. It takes the body out of stress-state, while getting the focus off any tricky thoughts. Then, it’s possible to call a friend or go for a walk, rather than the octopus taking the helm.
There are innumerable techniques around, so I’m going to share with you the most simple; diaphragmatic breathing. I teach it in Pilates to help ground those attending the class, and (try to) practise it myself when on the verge of overwhelm.
The diaphragm is a large muscle situated at the base of the lungs. When we inhale, it contracts and moves down to make space for the lungs to expand. When we exhale, it relaxes and moves up, helping to move air out of the lungs.
Deep, slow breaths that make use of our full lung capacity helps inform our body that it’s time to relax. It can be done any time, anywhere you’re able to focus on yourself and your breathing safely. You can do it seated, standing or lying down. Here’s how: 1 Place one hand on your chest, the other on your stomach. Take a deep, slow inhale through your nose, pulling the air down towards your stomach. Feel the sides of the rib cage expanding out like an accordion. You should be able to feel the air push your stomach up towards your hand, with your chest staying still. 2 Exhale slowly through the mouth, contracting the stomach muscles – imagine your rib cage contracting and your hipbones hugging in towards each other.
The whole process should feel concentrated, but not forceful. Try to keep your shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Aim for 3–5 minutes, then return to normal breathing – but anything is better than nothing.
“Putting space between a feeling and an action means there’s time for it to pass”