The Doctor Is In

Dr Max Pemberton

Q: I’m postmenopausal and my sex drive has evaporated! I used to love sex, but now I can’t be bothered, and trying makes me feel a bit silly. It’s particularly stressful because my partner is postmenopausal too but hasn’t lost her drive! Is there anything medical we could do to get the spark back? - Anon

A: The most important aspect of this is communication. It’s not always easy talking about something sensitive like a loss of libido, but it’s important that the subject is broached and discussed in an open, caring and non-judgemental way. The person who has had a drop in libido can feel under pressure to have sex which can lead to resentment and partners can take the change in sexual activity personally. Remind your partner that you love them and if sex is difficult to broach, consider the help of a counsellor.

The next thing to think about is why this has happened. Many NHS trusts now have psychosexual clinics that your GP can refer you to and can investigate that underlying cause of your low libido. You mention that you’re both postmenopausal but that this hasn’t changed your partner’s libido. Menopause affects people differently and while it’s common for there to be a drop in libido, this certainly isn’t always the case. You might want to consider speaking to a gynaecologist with a specialist interest in the menopause about your options. Some women find that HRT is helpful and, depending on other factors, this might be something to consider. HRT has had a bad press, mainly because of a 2002 study that appeared to link it to strokes, heart attacks and breast cancer. However, since that research was published, further research and analysis has shown the benefits of HRT in some women and that the risks for many women are low compared to the benefits. Many women on HRT find that this helps to improve their libido. There have been some clinical trials that have shown that low doses of testosterone can also increase sex drive. This isn’t widely prescribed yet on the NHS but some private doctors with expertise in the area are prescribing this. ■

Got a health question for our resident doctor?

Email it confidentially to askdrmax@readersdigest.co.uk