Real Classic



In response to Bob Rushton's challenge contained in his RC200 letter, it is indeed a fair cop and I confirm the Dunstall Road Police Station location and identity of my good friend, Ian. I don't know whether to feel exonerated by having my story confirmed, or convicted by associatio­n! Clearly any 'cough' would be totally inadmissib­le having been obtained by coercion, while obviously an even greater period of time needs to elapse before I can reveal further stories.

Back then I was a 17 year old, wet behind the ears,carefree single cadet while Bob would have been an experience­d and highly trained officer. I had joined the police with the single desire to be a paid motorcycli­st, but felt my position in the popularity stakes was lowered even further by virtue of owning a smart TR6R650 Trophy while most officers, particular­ly the young and married, were struggling with the poor rate of pay.

I remember the owner of the affected bike, Norman, but believe his'rebuilt and capacity reduced' B33 (B31... ) had changed hands. The individual I castigated was Graham who unfairly carried the nickname 'Doctor Death' due to his pale complexion, rather negative manner and self announced medical ailments .

I did not endear myself to him by developing a prank employed by the staff of the police workshop. This scam was to close the tall concertina garage doors and secure the inside air compressor's hose to an old tyre inner tube, leaving it to inflate inside the voluminous garage. At the same time the earth connection of the three pin mains plug of an inspection lead light would be attached to the HT lead of the large self contained mains spark plug tester, and the crocodile clip handle of the light at the other end to the metal handle of the closed garage doors.

It was amazing the time it took to see the small inner tube expand to the size of a tractor tyre before exploding with an absolutely deafening bang, further exaggerate­d by the acoustics. This would result in a rush of staff, mainly from the nearby traffic police office, to investigat­e, whereupon any attempt to open the door would result in them receiving a HT electric shock from the plug tester.

My developmen­t of this game was to add a long extension cable into the circuit, giving greater range. I would then attach the crocodile clip handle to a bike's centrestan­d and, as an officer began to polish his machine, would activate the plug tester. With greater insulation the shock was far more subtle, harder to detect but equally annoying. Unfortunat­ely Graham did not share my sense of humour and chased me round the station yard.

I managed to escape, unlike one of my fellow cadets who, on another occasion following his capture, was winched up in the air, handcuffed to the chains of the garage engine hoist and left while the staff went home. It was only by chance that I heard his cries for help otherwise he would have been left overnight!

I eventually achieved my goal of becoming a police motorcycli­st, only to be promoted away from it after lessthan two years.

Phil Rich,member 12,595

Excellent tale, Phil. Thanks!/ shall gaze upon Bude'sfew constables with renewed respect. Frankw

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