DO YOU BAN THE TV AT DINNER TIME?
Is the TV barred from your kitchen-diner to encourage family chat? We ask our readers
Two readers share their opposing views on this month’s hot topic
YES ‘At mealtimes we should just enjoy each other’s company’
Julia and Si Pulford (@house.by.the.park) live with their two children in a Victorian terraced house in Mossley Hill, Liverpool
‘We’ve got an open-plan kitchen-diner and there is absolutely no television set up there. And when we sit down for a meal, if the children come in with an ipad or phone, everything is banned – it’s a no-go zone. It was never up for debate – my husband and I never had that conversation. It’s just something we have always agreed on, that this is family time.
‘As our children get older, we know this is the only time we’ll get them to spend with us, so we try to make it about the four of us. It’s not always easy – it can be stressful, and there may be an element of wanting to get back to whatever they were doing – but that’s part of being a family.
‘We’re never stuck for conversation. It does seem to flow. We ask the children what they’ve been up to at school, what they want to do tomorrow or at the weekend, just normal stuff. Occasionally there are arguments; they seem to flow as well!
‘We only have one television and that’s in the living room. We’ve got laptops and ipads if the kids want to go and watch their own shows. They’re at an age now when they have their own interests.
‘Mealtimes are important. I tell the kids that this is something they’ll look back on with fond memories, even when they’re having arguments or being told off for burping or talking with their mouth full. The four of us are together and we should just enjoy each other’s company for half an hour or 45 minutes, and I think they’d probably say that they do.’
NO ‘When we’re too tired to talk, I might suggest that we watch TV’
Sara and Ben Swift (@thelittlehouse_ broadstairs) live with their two children in a 1930s detached house in Surrey
‘I’m not averse to the kids having the TV on while they’re eating. I think you do what you need to do and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. We have a breakfast bar area in the kitchen and there is a television there, as well as in the lounge area.
‘It’s a lovely idea to be sat round the table chatting about our day, but in reality, certainly for us, we eat at different times to the kids.
They might be watching it at the breakfast bar while I’m still cooking or doing something in the kitchen and I’ll ask them what the programme’s about. Or I might have the news on and they’ll ask me what’s going on. When there were daily briefings, we would quite often have those on as well. I might have it on when I’m grabbing lunch, as a bit of company.
‘While the pandemic has allowed us to eat together as a family more, there have been times when we were too zonked out with homeschooling and everything to chat. I remember sitting down with my husband and him asking “How’s your day been?” and I just physically couldn’t talk! Then I’d suggest watching something, or having dinner on our laps in front of the TV.
‘I am different about not allowing devices at dinner. Those are a bit more individual and you don’t always know what the kids are looking at. Otherwise, the option of TV is there, though it’s not always taken up – it depends how everyone’s day has been.’