DO SELF-PROMOTE, DON’T APOLOGISE…
Writer and brand consultant Otegha Uwagba shares her guide to truly owning your successes
Brand consultant Otegha Uwagba on the secrets of how to truly own your successes
Just what is it about self-promotion that’s so bloody difficult? Seriously – think of all the times you’ve put loads of effort into something at work, then hesitated over sharing the finished project with your colleagues. Is it a fear of being seen as arrogant? Not wanting to look as though we’re showing off? All too often we tend to be our own worst PRS. Despite regularly pushing friends to be as shameless as possible in laying claim to their hard-won glory, I still fall into the ‘it-was-nothing-really’ trap myself. Last year, having unexpectedly landed a book deal with my dream publisher, I spent the following months reflexively telling anyone who brought it up that ‘honestly, I just got lucky!’ I had to be reminded on multiple occasions by my book’s editor that, actually, the billion-dollar publishing industry doesn’t really operate on ‘luck’, and the reason I’d been co-signed by some of the best names within the industry was down to the hard work I’d put in over the preceding months and years.
Compare and contrast with the male colleague
I worked with years ago, who boldly emailed me to ask why he hadn’t been credited on a short film where his contribution had amounted to little more than a drive-by conversation, during which he’d suggested some ideas we hadn’t ended up using (seriously). Meanwhile, I also hadn’t been credited – despite having lived and breathed the project for months on end, corralling difficult clients, managing impossible budgets and regularly working late into the night – and yet, until his email, I hadn’t even
considered asking for that to be rectified. I later spotted he’d added the film to his suddenly suspiciously accolade-heavy Linkedin profile anyway, and landed a cushy promotion a few months after that. Go figure.
Besides being testament to a level of hubris previously inconceivable to me, that incident – and our contrasting responses – illustrates a broader pattern I’ve observed countless times since. Women tend to downplay their achievements far more than men do, and when it comes to self-promotion, well, we kind of suck at that, too.
And who can blame us?
It remains a sad fact that women who are visibly successful are often torn down because of their success, whether they shout about it or not. Think of the contempt heaped upon Anne Hathaway after her 2013 Oscar win, the narrative around which had a distinct undercurrent of ‘she’s gotten too big for her boots’. Indeed, studies have shown that when it comes to self-promotion, women are judged more harshly than men for the same actions – little surprise then, that over time we’ve internalised those norms and learned to self-moderate, avoiding blowing our own trumpets for fear of being torn down. But the reality of the working world is that often your career progression is as dependent on your ability to self-promote as it is on your talent or hard work. In order to get ahead, you’re going to have to stop hiding your light under a bushel, and master the art of self-promotion. Here’s how… •
Start by re-framing your perspective on self-promotion as being an optional ‘added extra’. You should treat it as an elemental part of your work – as key to your career success as, say, turning up to work on time, or responding to your boss’s emails. Put self-promotion in the same ‘not optional’ category as the other responsibilities that you instinctively recognise as being part of your job. •
Accept the possibility that some people actually won’t be a fan of your new-found confidence, and make your peace with that. Pandering to snarky colleagues, so-called friends or internet strangers is only going to hurt your prospects – is that a trade-off you’re happy to make?
Didn’t think so. •
On a more practical level, don’t just wait for your annual performance review to share your achievements with your boss. Instead, aim for occasional informal check-ins, even if they’re nothing more than walking to the local coffee shop together or a quick chat while you’re both waiting for the kettle to boil. A ‘little and often’ approach is far more effective when it comes to discussing your progress and sharing recent achievements. Had some really good client feedback? Managed to untangle the accounting mess that’s been burdening your department? Send your boss a quick email letting them know. •
If you’re self-employed or regularly do freelance work, consider creating a round-robin newsletter for past clients, potential clients and other interested parties. It doesn’t have to be particularly frequent or lengthy, but even a quarterly update of recent successes or projects you’ve worked on will help keep you top of mind for future commissions, as well as communicate to the world that you’re in demand. •
Finally, remember that lots of people are doing this all the time, even if you’re not aware of it. What might feel embarrassing or excessively boastful to you likely won’t even register on anyone’s radar as being at out of the ordinary. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that special – except of course, you are. Just make sure people know it.
‘SOME WON’T LIKE YOUR NEW-FOUND CONFIDENCE’