HOW TO BE MORE NUNCHI-FUL

1 EMPTY YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU GO INTO A ROOM.

Do this by taking two minutes to breathe deeply, letting go of any preconceptions you may have about what might be happening in there.

2 ALWAYS HAVE GOOD MANNERS.

But remember, manners exist in order to make people feel comfortable, not to enable you to feel superior because you know best.

3 YOU DON’T NEED TO ANNOUNCE YOUR ENTRANCE WITH A FANFARE.

When you enter, you change what happens in the room just by being there.

4 THINK: WHAT ARE PEOPLE NOT SAYING?

What are the non-verbal cues? You often need to read between the lines to find out what people are really thinking. People don’t want to be blunt, so will skirt around the truth.

5 READ THE ROOM TO WORK OUT WHAT’S GOING ON BEFORE YOU SPEAK OR ACT.

You can get a lot of information this way. An example Hong gives is entering a dinner party where everyone was quiet and babbling on about her bad journey. She later found out one of the guests had just announced she had terminal cancer. Afterwards, Hong realised there were signs she should have seen, such as the host whispering her welcome.

6 TRY TO MAKE INTERACTIONS SMOOTH.

In nunchi-speak, this is ‘rounded’, and means don't make people feel uncomfortable in any way.

7 BE QUIET AND WAIT.

If you do this, most of your questions will be answered without you having to say a word. This is especially relevant in negotiations where, like poker, your goal is to learn as much as possible without giving away your hand.

8 EVERY SITUATION IS ALWAYS CHANGING.

You need to stay alert and be quick to analyse. It’s the most adaptable person, not the strongest, who will turn out to be the winner in any situation.