SHOULD YOU STAY OR SHOULD YOU GO?
Arielle Tchiprout finds out how to love your job again
Alongside family, friends and romantic partners, your job is one of the most important relationships in your life. And like any good relationship, it’s all about give and take: you put in the effort and the job rewards you in return. It should make you feel excited and valued, rather than depleted and discouraged. And while it might be frustrating, stressful or boring at times, you love it despite its flaws. Ultimately, it should make you happy – most of the time! We spend far too much of our lives at work to settle for anything less, says Samantha Clarke, happiness consultant, lecturer at The School Of Life and author of Love It
Or Leave It: How To Be Happy At Work. And this has become even more important in recent years, as the social and physical context of work means that our jobs seep into our leisure time, too.
‘Our work and home lives now blend into one, as many of us have the freedom to work flexibly, from home and on mobile devices,’ Clarke explains. ‘It’s hard for us to disconnect from work, so if we’re not enjoying it, this negativity follows us wherever we go.’
But we’re also living in a world of Instagram and Linkedin, seeing filtered images and perfect career trajectories, making constant comparison unavoidable. Our career paths are no longer penned in by strict categories – there are endless choices available to us, which, while freeing, is also paralysing: we can’t help but wonder what other, more exciting, things we could be doing. All this means we often equate work happiness with work perfection. The unrealistic expectation to love every single task, every single day, can make us feel dissatisfied and restless in jobs that are, actually, pretty good.
‘Just like a romantic partner, no job is perfect,’ says Clarke. ‘You will never get 100% of what you need from it, in the same way you can’t get everything you need from one person.’ Sometimes, she says, you have to work out what is most important to you (like earning a good salary in a respected industry) and what you’re willing to tolerate in the pursuit of your wider goals (like finding some everyday tasks tedious). ‘Think about where else you can find satisfaction,’ she continues. ‘Perhaps work is fulfilling 60% of your joy, but if your life feels full in other ways – from hobbies to spending time with your family – you can decide to be okay with that for now. We need to take the rough with the smooth, and happiness means riding that rollercoaster and empowering yourself to work through any frustrations.’
So if work will never be perfect, what should happiness at work look like? ‘A harmonious balance between what you feel you can achieve and what you are achieving; you feel you are able to grow and develop; you feel valued, and you believe in what you’re doing,’ Clarke explains. ‘You’ll know you’re not happy and need to make a change when your job is affecting your mental health, physical wellbeing and is causing tension in other aspects of your life, including your closest relationships.’
Making a change doesn’t necessarily mean you have to pack it all in and embark on something completely new – before you decide to leave it, you can find ways to love it. Whether that’s making real, impactful changes to your role or making simple tweaks to your mindset, it is possible to feel happier at work. Samantha Clarke shares her advice…
Shapeshift your role
If your day job is getting you down, try to pinpoint where the problem lies. During one week, list all the tasks in your role and note which ones leave you ‘flatlining’ (boring tasks that leave you frustrated), ‘warming up’ (tasks that pique your interest) or ‘get your heart racing’ (tasks and actions that get you feeling energised). For example, writing meeting agendas may leave you flatlining, holding creative development sessions for a new product may have you warming up, and facilitating a workshop or closing a sale might get your heart racing. Doing this exercise will help you see what really annoys you and where you aren’t being stretched. Try to take the tasks you love and lean into them, and see what you might be able to delegate. And also: Keep a time diary for a week, in which you note how long you are spending on each task. This will help you identify how much time you’re involved doing the heart-racing stuff. This can help you work out what actually needs doing and where you can free up time to learn new skills. You can also try to find solutions to make those time-consuming tasks a bit easier, such as creating email templates you can use again and again, for example.
Utilise your strengths
Write down a list of your strengths – they shouldn’t be task-specific, but more about how you think. For example, you’re great at solving problems, you’re a logical thinker and you’re flexible and adaptable. (Not sure what your strengths are? You can find a strengths test in the book). Each day, try to tick off the times you are using your strengths. When we apply these to everything we do, the day flies by, we have more confidence and less stress, and we are more engaged, creative and satisfied with our work.
Know your worth – and push for it
It can be difficult to ask for a pay rise – especially as women, and especially in certain industries where discussing money is taboo. But if you feel you deserve one, ask for it. Using websites such as glassdoor.com, do your research and identify what salary a position like yours can command. Evaluate your earning potential – look at your skills compared with the average, your years of service and education. Set up a meeting with your manager about your progression and discuss what you’ve already delivered in your role before you mention pay. If your manager agrees to look into this, be sure to check in regularly. And also: If your company is not in a position to pay you more, investigate what else it offers – or could offer – in lieu of financial rewards, such as time off, training or an opportunity to gain cultural development while working abroad. Figure out what you need in order to thrive and articulate it.
Change your work routine
When we do the same thing every day, it’s easy to feel stuck in a rut – even if the work itself is enjoyable. Think about new ways to switch up your work routine at least twice a week. This might mean taking a different route to work, trying a new spot for lunch or, if you hot-desk, working in a different part of the office.
Stop moaning!
Misery loves company, and when we get stuck into complaining, others join in and it’s a downward spiral. Every time you feel the urge to complain, write down one nice thing that has happened at work. Gratitude is an incredibly powerful tool.
Seek to address your triggers
Working with people who rub you up the wrong way, pick holes in everything you do, or have moods that seem to change in an instant, is bound to make you miserable. But when we don’t get along with our colleagues, this can highlight something we need to change, welcome or address in our own behaviour. The truth is, it’s up to us how much we let people trigger us and in turn, what we do about it. Try to analyse your colleagues and see how they might work differently to you – does a teammate need a lot of hand-holding and approval? Perhaps they lack confidence. Does your boss hate it when presented with problems but not solutions? Perhaps they feel pressure higher up the chain to get things done. Seek to understand them, and their motivations, and you can adjust your interactions accordingly.
Action the changes you want to see
Instead of being passive and reacting negatively to a company culture that doesn’t foster good connections and relationships, realise you have the power to make people happier and influence those around you, too. Think of ways to praise others, build better relationships on your team and be empathetic towards your colleagues. You could set up a book club or running club to help bring people together and take conversations beyond work.
And also: Put together a game of coffee roulette for your team each month. Put everyone’s name in a hat and a selection of random conversation starters in another. Each member has to pick out a name and a talking point and then grab a quick coffee together to discuss the topic. This can be a great way to get to know people you don’t normally talk to or to brainstorm a particular work problem. Possible starter questions could be: what’s the biggest, most outrageous thing you want to achieve? Or, who has had the greatest impact on the person you have become?
File your successes
Make a list of your accomplishments, positive feedback that you’ve received, work wins or milestones achieved. When you’re feeling down, remind yourself of the impact your presence has had on the wider company, and how your skills and abilities are coming together successfully.
Zen up your workspace
Working in a dreary office can feel stifling, but there are small, simple ways to alter your work environment to make it a happier, more productive space. Check your chair and lighting to make sure they’re set up to help you work successfully without any posture-related problems or eye strain. Adding plants to your desk can really perk up your working day, too.
And also: Get yourself a mini diffuser to keep on your desk. Mix up key essential oils such as lavender, rose or sandalwood for a calming effect on your moods. Lemon, basil oil, ginger and neroli can help keep you focused, energised and more cheerful throughout the day.