VULNERABILITY IS THE KEY TO STRENGTH
Those who communicate are the real leaders, says Alice Olins
Those who can communicate their emotions at work are the leaders of the future, says Alice Olins
I love Brené Brown’s explanation of vulnerability in her book Daring Greatly and it’s something I come back to often. In it, she says: ‘Vulnerability isn’t good or bad… vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness.’
Yet, as women, we have become conditioned to turn the volume down on our feelings, especially in the workplace, and female emotions have somehow come to equal instability or, even worse, ineptitude. Or at least that’s what we’ve been told. The irony, of course, is that the opposite is true: people who can share their vulnerability at work will be the leaders of the future because being open with how you feel isn’t a weakness, it’s the ultimate strength.
We can’t connect with others if we’re not truthful, at first with ourselves and then with those around us. When we’re vulnerable, we show our true selves and we pave the way for others to follow. A team or organisation that is connected on this level can achieve anything. Plus, showing our emotions in the workplace is the best way to create a safe environment in which everyone feels supported, heard and understood. If you dig deep and show your true self, others will follow where you lead; working with truth breeds confidence and freedom.
A good way to access your own vulnerability is to start by acknowledging what feels vulnerable to you. We all sit on a spectrum of openness, so it’s important you know where you are on this scale and how much further you may need to go to create a safe, open space.
Perhaps, for you, being vulnerable is about being able to say no and explaining why; it might be putting yourself in an uncomfortable position and sharing how it feels; sharing parts of your personal story; admitting that you’ve messed up; or being brave enough to recognise that someone needs support and reaching out your hand.
The point that Brown repeatedly makes in Daring Greatly (and with which I wholeheartedly agree), is that being vulnerable takes courage. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that vulnerability is the bedrock of modern, change-making leadership. Leadership is no longer defined by being the boss; it’s about empowering others, showing them a better way and being a conduit of open communication. None of these are possible if you don’t access your own vulnerability.
The best way to start sharing more of yourself is by taking small steps. Try it in a safe personal space first: talk a little more openly with your partner, or open a bigger conversation – perhaps one with more at stake – with a friend. When you begin to see and feel the impact of this honesty then you can take bigger steps and start showing more vulnerability at work, too.
We’re not automata yet, so leverage the basic human need for connection and you’ll soon discover that amazing things happen.
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