Spend more, feel better?

We’re all shopping online more now, but the ‘occasional treat’ can become a habit that’s hard to break. Joanne Finney identifies the signs of an emotional spender . . .

My name is Joanne, and since lockdown, I’ve become just a little bit obsessed with online shopping. In the last month, I’ve bought an expensive face serum, a magnesium sleep spray, a Best Of The Carpenters CD and decorative logs for my fireplace. They’re all wants rather than needs, bought for the buzz of the courier’s knock as much as the item itself. Looking at these buys, I realise I’ve been using online shopping as an emotional crutch – a way to distract myself from the boredom of lockdown. ‘This type of shopping is called emotional spending,’ says Emilie Bellet, founder of Vestpod and author of You’re Not Broke You’re Pre-rich. ‘It’s guided by how you feel in a certain moment.’

Online spending has risen hugely during the pandemic. Mintel* found that 53% of adults are shopping online more in 2021 than at the start of the pandemic last year. Data from Barclaycard, published last July, found that Britons spent £40.6bn online on non-essential items during the first lockdown – about £770 a person.

Emotional shopping is nothing new, but it’s been heightened by the events of the past year. ‘When a period of time is uneventful, we are prone to act impulsively,’ explains Alec Lysak, MSC psychologist. ‘We’re looking for excitement. This can range from mildly impulsive behaviour, such as ordering a takeaway, to actions that may have more negative consequences, like spending regularly on things we can’t afford.’

The problem is that the high of online shopping is addictive, and now we’re on our way back to ‘normal’ life, and having to once again cover the cost of commuting and our social lives, it’s hard to drop the habit.

Having a healthy relationship with money is about balance. While a treat is fine once in a while, feeling out of control financially isn’t good for either our bank balances or our mental health. ‘The obvious signs your spending is out of control are that you’re in the red every month or your credit card bill is much higher than expected,’ says Bellet. ‘Check your account now – is there less than you thought?’ If this sounds familiar, it might be time to take a look at your shopping habits. Here are four things to look out for:

‘WHEN LIFE IS UNEVENTFUL, WE ARE PRONE TO ACT IMPULSIVELY’

YOU WANT A SHOPPING ‘FIX’

Even the most financially savvy of us can struggle to make good money choices all the time, and it could be that our natural instincts are to blame. ‘Buying things and receiving them – the doorbell ringing – gives us a positive emotional response,’ says Bellet. ‘Thanks to the dopamine rush we get, our brain remembers how good we feel. It can become a compulsive cycle: you go online, you spend, you’re happy for five minutes when your package arrives, then you feel bad for overspending. It creates stress and you feel worse than before. Ironically, that can cause more impulse shopping.’ Changing your money mindset is key, says Bellet. ‘Reframe how you see it. Money is a tool that helps you achieve what you want in life. Money isn’t part of you, it’s just something you use. When you shop, you’re giving the retailer your assets. Pay yourself first. One idea is that every time you buy something online, you put the same amount into your savings.’

COMPARISON IS A THIEF

There are very few among us who haven’t bought something after seeing a friend/colleague/influencer with it and wanted, just for a moment, to be them. ‘Emotional spending can happen because you don’t like your appearance, or are trying to “improve” yourself in some way,’ says Laura Whateley, author of Money: A User’s Guide. ‘I don’t think I’m alone in taking up sourdough bread making, Zoom pilates and drawing during lockdown, then coming up with an excuse about why my new hobbies necessitate spending money on all the gear to make them happen. Social media plays a big role. It presents so many things that you might want to buy alongside people who seemingly have a better life/kitchen/bookshelf/skin/ workout clothes/time of it, which means we feel a terrible combination of temptation and a bit rubbish about what we lack at the same time.’ This is definitely a pattern I recognise. For me, allocating some ‘fun money’ every month from my budget (after the bills are paid) to spend on wants made a big difference. It means guilt-free shopping, but also that I think more carefully before I click ‘buy’ because once it’s gone, it’s gone.

TRIGGER WARNING

Many of us do the majority of our online shopping at night, often in front of the TV with a glass of wine in hand. You’re exhausted after a long day, you’re bored, you’re fed up, and scrolling on your phone feels like a good way to unwind. There’s even a name for it: vampire shopping. According to John Lewis & Partners, there’s been a 23% rise in nocturnal spending that began even before the pandemic. Take a look at your last five ‘emotional buys’ and ask yourself some questions: when did you buy them? What were you doing at the time? How were you feeling? Identify your triggers and then put some rules in place, such as no online shopping after 8pm.

DON’T BE TRICKED

Simply being aware of our own emotions and triggers isn’t enough. The retail industry is set up to try and get us to shop impulsively. ‘Companies use a wide range of methods to advertise to consumers both online and offline to engage, excite and sell,’ explains Abbie Roberts, marketing consultant, coach and PPC (pay per click) specialist. ‘The ways companies can target you include anything from paid adverts on social media to email marketing, as the goal is to be as visible as possible in all the right places. There is also a technique known as ‘re-targeting’, where people who have shown interest but not purchased yet will be shown specific adverts to encourage them to complete the sale.’ Everything about e-commerce is set up to be as easy as possible, from one-click buys to encouraging shoppers to save their card details on sites. Add some friction by deleting your card details from your favourite online stores and unlinking your Paypal or Apple Pay accounts, if you have them.