THE retro­bates

How would you die on THE ore­gon Trail?

Retro Gamer - - LOADING -

Dar­ran Jones

I’ve al­ways wanted to go out in a blaze of glory, but I’d imag­ine it would be some­thing like get­ting crushed by my wagon af­ter I tried to fix its bro­ken wheel. Ex­per­tise:

Jug­gling a gor­geous wife, two beau­ti­ful girls and an award-win­ning magazine Cur­rently play­ing:

The Leg­end Of Spyro:

The Eter­nal Night

Favourite game of all time: Strider

sam rib­bits

Crazy idea: what if I’d made it to Ore­gon with­out dy­ing…? No you’re right, that’s a silly thing to say. Prob­a­bly good ol’ dysen­tery then, I guess. Ex­per­tise:

Car­bun­cle hide-and-seek Cur­rently play­ing:

Hol­low Knight

Favourite game of all time: Croc: Leg­end Of The Gob­bos

Ja­son kelk

I’d prob­a­bly be mur­dered by ev­ery­one else for com­plain­ing about the lack of Wi-fi. Ex­per­tise:

Be­ing a home­brew hero Cur­rently play­ing:

Starr Mazer

Favourite game of all time: Io

Drew sleep

Dar­ran would push me off the kart and into a snake pit. Retri­bu­tion for me knack­er­ing his ar­cade ma­chine’s but­tons while play­ing Com­bat School. Ex­per­tise:

Lis­ten­ing to Eight­ies sound­tracks while skat­ing along Bournemouth beach

Cur­rently play­ing:

Oc­topath Trav­eler

Favourite game of all time: Fi­nal Fan­tasy VIII

Luke al­bigés

Zom­bies – I pre­fer The Or­gan Trail for my bleak pixel­lated coast-to-coast wagon-based fu­til­ity ex­er­cises.


Not get­ting dysen­tery Cur­rently play­ing:

Oc­topath Trav­eler

Favourite game of all time: Mi­cro Ma­chines: Turbo Tour­na­ment ’96

paul Drury

I’d like to pass away from good old-fash­ioned measles. Such a retro way to go.


Brian Colin’s Hawai­ian shirt col­lec­tion

Cur­rently play­ing:

Kevin Toms World Foot­ball Cup Favourite game of all time: Sheep in Space

nick Thorpe

An­i­mals tend to look at me like I look at pizza, so I’d al­most cer­tainly fall vic­tim to a vi­cious snakebite.


Own­ing five Master Sys­tems (I sold two)

Cur­rently play­ing:

Sonic Ma­nia Plus

Favourite game of all time: Sonic The Hedge­hog

graeme ma­son

Prob­a­bly de­hy­dra­tion or ex­haus­tion through drink­ing too much cof­fee and not enough wa­ter!


Ad­just­ing the tape az­imuth with a screw­driver

Cur­rently play­ing:


Favourite game of all time: Res­i­dent Evil 4

David crookes

Most likely from some hor­rid dis­ease such as ty­phoid or cholera. Never a good way to go. Ex­per­tise:

Am­strad, Lynx, ad­ven­tures, Dizzy and Playsta­tion (but is it retro? De­bate!)

Cur­rently play­ing:

BMX Sim­u­la­tor

Favourite game of all time: Bro­ken Sword

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