Endgame

“Crooked Yoshi stole my crown. He had ZERO racing ability. SAD.” Tweets an angry mushroom

If you ever want a spot of family-friendly racing fun, a Mario Kart game is usually a great choice. Between the charming cast of characters and chaotic item system that gives everyone a chance to win, it’s a party hit. But in single-player mode, with nobody to trash talk and vicious rubber-banding AI, things aren’t always so fun. Let’s see if Toad can overcome all that adversity to claim victory As balloons rain from the sky, Toad is not in a tremendously happy state. The mood is celebratory at Peach’s castle, but the smaller than average (but not freakishly small) racer won’t get to claim the first place trophy he really wanted. The mushroom-headed racer’s downfall came when a stray lightning bolt struck him, causing him to fall behind the pack. “If only it hadn’t been stormy, I’d be much happier now,” he thinks to himself as he drives to the podium. Still, at least he’s claiming his trophy in front of the biggest ever Mario Kart crowd. That’s not true, of course – there’s nobody there. But when Toad feels bad about himself he uses counter-factual thinking as a coping mechanism. It wasn’t the most impressive race he’d ever run, but Toad clearly no longer shares that opinion. With a triumphant cry of, “I’m the best,” he celebrates his third place finish as if he’s clutching gold, basking in the wholly imagined admiration of the spectators and his fellow racers. Within hours, Toad is angrily tweeting that the “fake news media” don’t understand racing results, and that he had in fact won a record-breaking victory. These delusional rants seem to bring him some measure of comfort, but to the rest of the world Toad just looks like a dick.