Retro Gamer - - CONTENTS -

Nick ends up in a bit of bother with the colonies

Oh yes, it was the Bri­tish. That would be us, then. If there’s one les­son we should prob­a­bly have learnt from this, it’s to keep our beaks out of Amer­i­can po­lit­i­cal af­fairs. Some­times we just can’t help our­selves, though, you know? A good, whole­some Amer­i­can fam­ily cel­e­brates its hard-won free­dom. The dog was ac­tu­ally a fear­some tracker, sniff­ing out hid­den red­coats, and was awarded a medal. The baby, be­ing use­less as ba­bies tend to be, didn’t as­sist in the war ef­fort. Rev­o­lu­tion­ary leader Ge­orge Wash­ing­ton be­comes the first pres­i­dent of the USA, de­spite his re­luc­tance to ac­cept the post, and leads a uni­fied na­tion with skill. He is later con­sid­ered amongst the great­est of Amer­i­can pres­i­dents. The con­sti­tu­tion can cause prob­lems and wasn’t per­fect the first time round, but, hey, that’s what amend­ments are for, right? It’s cer­tainly bet­ter than hav­ing an un­cod­i­fied con­sti­tu­tion. A coun­try without proper rules of gov­ern­ment would de­scend into chaos quicker than you can say – oh wait, that’s Bri­tain again. So let’s hear it for Amer­ica, a coun­try in which lib­erty and jus­tice are the birthright of all ci­ti­zens. And hey, Bri­tain was a re­formed na­tion for the ex­pe­ri­ence, never again colonis­ing faroff lands and wreak­ing havoc upon the lo­cal… hang on, that’s not right, ei­ther. Sorry about that, Com­mon­wealth na­tions.

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