A very touchy subject
Ihad very limited experience with the Mega Drive when I was young. The only time I got to play on it, that I can remember, was when I was about 16 or 17 years old. After a night out on the old razz (just fizzy pop for me, honest!) a group of us would end up at Pepsi Cola Khan’s house and a lengthy session of would typically take place. I was absolutely awful at it, and I still am today, but what a thrill! Serious question: is there anyone out there who doesn’t like the first game? I guess there must be, in the same way some poor individuals don’t like The Beatles, and I can only pray for you.
Can I let you into a secret about those Mega Drive nights? This will probably make me sound like an absolute pervert, and I feel a little ashamed, but I used to get a real kick out of touching the console. It was just such a sexy piece of plastic that I had to
get tactile with it. A lot of my pleasure as a youth came from, well, touching things. I remember a particularly arousing door handle we had at home and I became fixated with stroking it. So much so that my dad eventually ended up changing it. The new one was rubbish.
But Sega’s magic machine was just amazing. Firstly the weight. It felt – and as I type this I realise I sound insane – absolutely perfect to lift up. It was deceptively light. An actual joy to hold in the air.
Then there was that ribbed bit on the left hand side. This was easily my favourite part to stroke. Yes, I actually stroked it. Sometimes I would pull my nails down it to get that noise.
Look, if you’re going to sneer, I’ll stop. Calmed down? Good. Then I’ll continue.
The volume control was just pure pleasure. Naughty, dirty little thing. And the defiant click of the on/off switch was only bettered by the soft release of the reset button. Great action.
Here’s the thing I’ve learnt as I’ve got older. If something ‘works’ for me, then I can’t be the only one who feels that way. There has to be at least one other person reading this who feels the same, who believes that consoles and old computers are more than just the games they play and the way they look when they’re sat on your desk. The way they feel is equally important (another case in point, the slightly nobbly feel of the main body of a BBC Micro).
I don’t go around touching up old gear so much any more. My objectophilia is under control. And I’ve probably made myself sound worse than I actually am. I never got caught doing it as a teenager, I was discreet. It was normally as a cartridge was being changed because someone wanted to play a game I never really ‘got’. If I was lucky, I’d get to switch off the Mega Drive and pack it away. Ah, the simple pleasures. Seriously, the PS4 and Xbox One just really don’t do it for me (although, don’t get me started on the Xbox 360 on/off button).