The road trip from hell
THE MOST DISASTROUS road trip in RIDE’S history happened 13 years ago this month. A 2000-mile haul to Italy and back, in two days, in November, on faulty bikes. What could go wrong?
The plan was a cross-continental quickie to the 2005 Milan bike show (turn to p8 for the 2018 highlights) on four second-hand high-speed sports-tourers, hastily borrowed from dealers. The schedule, as writer Tim Skilton explained, was tight: “Day 1: Ride to Milan. Day 2: Visit the show. Day 3: Ride home.” Riding with Tim were RIDE staff Chris Maillard, Tony Hoare and Emma Franklin.
Things didn’t start well. Tim skinned his knuckles strapping luggage to the 1999 Suzuki Hayabusa. Then it got a puncture before they’d reached Paris. A mere amuse-bouche of what was to come…
Swapping to the 1996 Yamaha Thunderace revealed it to be far from tip-top condition. “It burned oil, had a hole in the exhaust, and was propped up by knackered suspension,” wrote Tim. The speedo didn’t work and it needed bumpstarting at every petrol stop, of which there were seven on the 900-mile trip to Milan. “If I had the choice to delete one day from my life, this would be it.”
A day after mooching round the show, it was time to head home. Tim started the return leg on a 2001 Kawasaki ZX-12R, wrapped up in “five layers of clothing and a waterproof all-in-one to keep warm.” Their speeds suggest they were keen to get home. “Soon we were holding an indicated 140mph as we carved our way back through Italy. I noticed the Kawasaki had developed a high-speed weave.”
Last, but not least, was a 1998 Honda Blackbird. “The bike seemed in good fettle, but from the seat the shock had more sag than Nora Batty’s stockings.” That wasn’t all. “The Honda’s gearbox was awful, the front discs were warped and the rear lever had hardly any effect.”
After battling freezing conditions for hours on end, the team hit Calais and the warmth of the ferry. Home… almost.
“A phone call from a mate confirmed my worst fears. He was on the M25 and it was snowing. Marvellous...”