‘No right or wrong way to deal with blast shock’
THERE is no one single way to react to an event as shocking as last week’s bombing. Nor is there a right way, or a wrong way.
Thousands of people across Manchester and beyond – and especially those at the Arena on the night of the attack – have spent the last week dealing with the tidal wave of emotion that hits in the aftermath of a major trauma.
Some have told of guilt, or panic at the sound of sirens, or disrupted sleep, or just a kind of numb emptiness. Others have felt all these things, or none.
Dr Sarah Davidson, head of psychosocial services at The Red Cross, has helped on the ground at numerous hugely shocking events around the world, from the 2004 Thailand tsunami to the Brussels bombings last year. She says none of us should expect ourselves to react in a certain way.
“There isn’t any one way of doing it, not least because people have had different experiences in their lives, not just on the night,” she says. “Any consequences people have, particularly in the next six to eight weeks, will be a usual response to an unusual situation. The most important thing is there’s no wrong or right way to react.”
Although not everybody will experience it, one of the most common responses in the aftermath of such a trauma is guilt. Those who were there may feel they could have done more – and any one of us may feel we should be doing more right now.
That can, in its own way, be productive, says Dr Davidson, in that it can help to spur us into action. But it is also important to understand the guilt is unfounded.
“That kind of survivor’s guilt is very common,” she says. “It often drives how we want to make things right again, but you have to be compassionate with yourself and understand that while guilt is normal, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”
Ellen Miller, Victim Support’s service director for the north, also agrees there is no one right or wrong way to respond.
“It’s about feeling that what you are going through is quite normal,” she says.
“The way it usually works with trauma is people have their immediate, instant reaction – which they can’t control and everybody is different. Some people will freeze, some people will spring into action, some will have a flight reaction – you can’t do anything about that. It’s really fluid, you can’t do anything about it and it’s not a conscious thought process. So please don’t feel guilty. The only person who should feel guilt is the bomber and their accomplices.”
As well as guilt, many people will feel anxious and jumpy.
“This is understandable,” says Dr Davidson. “We manage the world by making assumptions about its safety. So when the unexpected happens you feel fearful and nervous and panicky.”
Such reactions are the body’s natural way of protecting itself, she points out, the defences our bodies and minds have evolved to protect us. Sleep might be disrupted as a result, as people are – whether they know it or not – in a state of nervous alert. And then there’s avoidance: the urge to simply not talk about it.
Speaking from experience, says Dr Davidson, when getting home from working in a war zone or a terror attack it can be difficult to immediately articulate what has happened.
“There can be pressure to ‘story’ very quickly – ‘tell me what happened,’” she says, adding that for friends or relatives it is important to be on hand to listen, but not to force someone to re-live the event in detail.
The city as a whole is going through a collective grieving process, points out Dr Sarah Parry, senior lecturer in clinical and counselling psychology at Manchester Metropolitan University.
“Often people worry that they should be feeling more than they are, which can be the shock and numbness,” she says. It’s only just a week ago. I think the whole city is still ricocheting off what has happened.”
The vast majority of people will recover from the shock of the last week without any long-term consequences, stress experts. But everyone needs to look after themselves in the short-term, to prevent suffering a deeper effect.
“Generally within a matter of weeks many people will find actually they are starting to cope better,” says Ellen Miller.
“Human beings are remarkable, but how they behave now will affect that. Be close to the ones you love, get enough sleep, don’t drink too much.” »»If you need to talk to someone you can call Victim Support on 08 08 16 89 111 or visit www. victimsupport.org.uk. The Red Cross offers advice on how to talk to children about the attack at: http://blogs. redcross.org.uk