WHAT GOES ON TOUR…

JOHN HAMBLY, a Cornishman, recalls an incident from an Old Actonians tour match he played against his first club, Truro…

Midway through the second half, I set off on a wildly ambitious run. Predictably, with my lack of pace, I got brought to ground in front of the clubhouse. Cue raucous baying for blood from the partisan crowd as I delayed release of the ball on Truro’s side of the ruck.

There was an inevitability to the shoeing that ensued. At times like that you simply block out the pain and wait for the stampede to end.

On this occasion, accompanied by a mixture of laughter from the crowd and a lone high-pitched voice, it was over more quickly than anticipated. Bodies peeled away from the ruck and I was hauled up by two Truro boys.

“Sort her out for God’s sake!” If the ground could have opened up I would have dived in. There on the pitch, gesticulating wildly and spitting Maltese-Cornish vitriol, was my dear mother. Never in all the years that I had played rugby in Cornwall had she been able to conquer her maternal fears and watch me. It got worse.

“Steven Ivey, Dickie Vinson, Anthony Caruana, get off him you bloody sods! Wait till I speak to your parents!” she screamed.

“Mother! It’s okay, it’s part of the game. Please leave the pitch and stop frightening the players!” “Game? You could’ve fooled me!” My mother rejoined the ranks of the spectators while I faced 30 grinning faces, including the ref!

From Samson Rising byJohn Hambly,publishedbyUnited WritersCornwall,RRP£18.95.