Jack’s come back from the brink to achieve Paralympic medal joy
AMAN survived three suicide attempts before winning a bronze medal at the Tokyo 2020 Paralympic Games.
Jack Hunter Spivey, 26, grew up on an Anfield council estate and was playing table tennis as a 10-year-old in Widnes when he decided he wanted to compete in the London 2012 Paralympic Games.
He narrowly missed out on making the team, but he went on to play in Rio 2016 Games.
On Friday, he made it through the quarter-finals of the men’s class 5 singles by beating Norway’s Tommy Urhaug, defeating the player he once beat to win his first international singles gold medal at the 2017 US Open.
He lost to old rival Valentin Baus, who he beat four years ago, in the table tennis semifinal, coming out of the Paralympic Games with a bronze medal.
But Jack’s journey to Tokyo has seen its ups and downs.
He would sometimes jump trains and sit in the toilets all the way to Sheffield, where he now lives, so he could get to training because his mum couldn’t afford the fare.
His mum would sacrifice milk and bread so she could pay for him to get to training sessions.
A low period in his mental health a few years ago saw him drop down the world rankings, falling from where he needed to be in order to qualify for Rio and keep his spot on the squad.
His future hung on the outcome of a single match in China in 2015.
Speaking of what would happen if he lost it, Jack said: “That was my job gone, my career gone, the dream gone. Everything.”
The Liverpool lad, a ‘warrior’ on the table, was battling his demons as much as his opponents.
Jack said: “I went to training. I was crying every day. I was wearing the same clothes. I was smelling. It was just a complete breakdown.
“My coaches said to me like, ‘What’s the matter?’, and I’d make an excuse saying my washing machine broke or I was late to training.”
Jack is grateful for ParalympicsGB, UK Sport and the National Lottery funding for being an ‘arm around the shoulder’ during his difficult period.
But even with coaches and a psychologist asking how he was, it took months before Jack felt able to talk.
He said: “I got to a stage where I was turning mirrors around in my room. I was covering over any glass panels I had. I hated myself. I didn’t want to look at myself.
“At this point I was playing table tennis full-time. That was the dream. That was the 10-year-old kid’s dream – to play table tennis. It just didn’t feel right. It felt like I was in this dark bubble and no one else was.
“So I reached out and just said, ‘I hate myself. I don’t want to be here anymore. I hate myself’, and I managed to get help and see a psychiatrist.”
Jack has been on a long, hard journey up and down since then. It’s been years since he’s felt suicidal.
Now he tries to find the positives in everything and he wakes up focused on his goals.
The Paralympian said: “Some days, my goal might be to just get out of bed and get dressed.
Most days, my goal is to get out and go to training and be the best athlete I can be.”
His life is so different now, he finds it hard to identify with the person in his memories.
Jack said: “I really do feel like I’m telling someone else’s story in a sense, because sometimes it feels like I’ve got a new iPhone and a new update and I’m not quite sure how to use it.
“I feel so different to how I used to feel. I’m doing this crazy stuff, and I’m able to take in and experience as much as I can.”
The Paralympian hopes his story will inspire others and give them the hope they need to carry on.
He knows first hand the importance of having role models to inspire you.
For Jack, the key inspirations are is mum and Tony Edge, a
Paralympian from where Jack once lived.
Tony helped Jack adapt to his cerebral palsy when he first joined his local table tennis club at the age of 10 where he played standing up and in pain.
Jack said: “He met me and he said, ‘Hiya mate, do you want a game of table tennis?’, and I said, ‘Ah mate, you’re in a wheelchair, I’ll beat you’.
“He beat me 22-nil. I didn’t have a chance at all of beating him. He sat me down and said, ‘I can see you’ve got a lot of passion for the sport, and you could be really good, but you’ve got to start using a wheelchair’.
“And to me that was like the devil. I didn’t want to use my chair. I didn’t ever want to go anywhere near it. But he helped me adapt to my disability and understand that it was absolutely perfect to be in a wheelchair.
“Now I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s my unique selling point. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I wasn’t disabled. I wouldn’t have travelled the world. I mean, it’s crazy to think about it, and yeah, for me, I wouldn’t change it at all.”
Jack is still on a journey with his career and his mental health. Part of that is seeking to inspire others.
He’d sacrifice all his medals and travels to save just one life.
Jack said: “I just want to use my story and my sport as a vehicle to get out there and save other people, because there’s a lot of people that sadly don’t get saved. I was just one of the lucky ones that found a way.
“So if I could just help one person, if I could just tell one person that actually there is a way out of it, and it’s not to do that, it’d be better than any medal I could possibly get out here.”
Widnes