It’s been hell – but I wouldn’t change a thing
Michael Byrne suffered a mental breakdown 18 months ago when he ran out of the energy he needed to pretend everything was OK.
The soon-to-be 50-year-old was a successful director of a housing association, had a loving wife and new son.
But on the inside he was struggling to cope with a series of traumatic events.
Four years prior to his break down on April 1, 2017, Michael was involved in the Clutha disaster when a helicopter crashed into the Clydeside bar killing 10 people and injuring several more.
Michael was one of many punters who helped the 31 injured people from the rubble of the disaster on November 29, 2013.
But that was just one of many traumatic ordeals Michael has had to endure.
As a young boy he was abused by someone who threatened him to keep quiet.
In 1996, aged 27, he was asked to identify the body of his father who had been brutally murdered.
He lost twins to miscarriage in a previous relationship and underwent surgery to remove a tumour in his throat.
It was only when he was involved in a minor car crash in the car park of a supermarket that things came tumbling down.
“The crash made me have flashbacks of the helicopter coming down,” Michael said.
“The crash and the bang reminded me of the bang in the Clutha, and the devastation and horrendous things I witnessed.
“I was just about to turn 48 and my dad was 48 when he died.
“I didn’t know how to ask for help. How I got through the last time was how I thought I would do it again. But I had used up all my energy.”
He added:“My personality completely changed, I began to selfdestruct in an attempt that people would see I needed help. That continued for seven months and in January 2018 I was suspended by my employer.”
It was not until May 2017 that Michael secured help from the Glasgow Psychology and Trauma Service and slowly began to rebuild his life.
That has included writing down his feelings and talking to other people who have been through similar challenges and who, as he describes ,“speak the language of trauma”.
He said:“I am 50 in a few weeks’time and for the first time in my life I am looking forward. I am using my past as a purpose to move forward.
“I believe I was meant to be at the Clutha to help those people who we helped. It took five years for my breakdown to take place and the irony of it is I wouldn’t change any of it. I’m happy now doing what I’m doing, helping others.”