It’s challenging but Amazing work
Barnardo’s Liz and Pete encourage others to consider becoming foster carers as demand grows
As charity warns of an alarming rise in the number of children and young people requiring foster care, we meet an inspirational Lanarkshire
couple who have walked away from their careers to devote their time to fostering. Here, share their story – and explain
why they wouldn’t hesitate to encourage others to provide love, care and stability to children and young people during their toughest times.
Whenever a child whose trauma they’ve helped to undo gains enough confidence and self-belief to change direction in life, the hearts of Barnardo’s foster carers Elizabeth and Peter Smith soar.
The Lanarkshire couple have welcomed more than 30 children and young people into their hearts and their home in the past 17 years, helping to transform their lives.
And the welfare of the children and youngsters they have cared for over the years has always been at the forefront of their minds.
Liz and Pete explained it was through a fellow member of their
Liz and Pete Smith local church that they found their way into the world of fostering. The woman was looking after six children and had transferred from the local authority to Barnardo’s.
“We were keen to help, but she said you need to become registered, which we did – and that’s how it started,” recalls Liz, 60.
“We chose Barnardo’s for one reason only and that’s because it was an opportunity to bring about some healing in a child’s life and a restoration of hope for the child. It is a full, therapeutic type of work, and that’s what attracted us to it.”
Liz and Pete accept that although the application process is both long and intensive, it is necessary – and allows for some valuable self-reflection.
Said Liz: “It helps you to reflect on your own life. The application process allows you to go into your own background, your own upbringing and your own values.
“I can still remember things that I learned from that introductory process because it lets you see where your own values come from, and you can instil those values and what you’ve been through in life to help the children.
“It was very in-depth, but we didn’t mind it because it’s done very privately and carefully.”
Explaining that, from the outset, the couple felt supported by Barnardo’s, Liz continued: “We had a supervising worker at Barnardo’s who would visit us regularly and talk us through some of the very difficult situations and how we would handle that. She prepared us well for what was to come. We always felt totally supported and that took away the fear of what we had taken on.
“Although we were experienced parents, we were totally inexperienced when it came to bringing up foster children because of the trauma that they have often suffered before they come into care. You have a lot of work to do to understand that trauma.
“That trauma is different in every child, so we work with Barnardo’s specialists to undo the trauma from those early experiences, and it does take time.
“For the first year or so, we started out doing a few weekends just to see how we took to it and how it would be for our children who were living at home at that time. It was a safety valve. It gave us the chance to find out if fostering was for us, and because we were enjoying it and it was working for our own family, we were happy to progress.”
The fact that Liz and Pete already had a family of their own was never a barrier to fostering. Indeed, having three children served to add to the dynamic for both their family and the children they looked after.
“Our own children were part of our application process,” explained Pete. “They have been
fully supportive of us. In fact, they are our biggest supporters. Our youngest was 17 when we started and was very much included in all aspects of the process.”
After some time, Pete – who was an area manager with the Red Cross – and Liz, who worked in a school with children with learning disabilities, decided to give up their own careers to focus fully on being foster parents. The result was transformational.
“We both decided to give up work because the finance from Barnardo’s allowed us to focus fully on the children,” explained Pete.
“It meant that when the children were on school holidays, then so were we – and every year we could take them on a long holiday. We were available the whole time because the funding that Barnardo’s provided was more than enough to be able to do that.”
The couple are so positive about their years in fostering that they wouldn’t hesitate to urge others in the Lanarkshire area to consider becoming foster parents themselves.
“When you’re a foster carer, you are part of a team,” emphasised Liz. “You are not doing it alone and you’re not in it with just your own experience. You’re doing it with a whole team behind you that’s giving you that back-up. That’s what Barnardo’s is – it’s a team. That makes a massive difference.” She continued: “The work of being a foster carer is very challenging, but it’s amazing once you start seeing young people’s lives getting on a solid foundation and them becoming functioning human beings and having a good life. “That’s how I would describe fostering – the opportunity not just to help, but to get involved in somebody’s life and to change it for the better.”
Encouraging others to consider exploring the world of fostering, the Smiths insist it can bring huge benefits – not only for the children and young people, but also for the carers.
“It is an opportunity to change a child’s direction in life. It’s very rewarding when you see children becoming successful and building up their self-esteem. Seeing them happy is the most important thing,” said Liz.
“We have had a good life doing this, as well as seeing the children’s lives turned around. And, even though the children we looked after are now in their 20s, they are still with us, so to speak. Fostering is a lifelong commitment, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Whenyou’rea foster carer, you are part of a team. You are not doing italone,you’re not in it with just your own experience