THE ONE WHO HATES ROWS ABOUT MONEY

JOANNA PNIEWSKA, 33, is a product manager and lives in a three-bedroom house in Isleworth, West London, with her husband Drew, 46, an art director. Joanna earns £40,000 a year. She says: I’LL do anything to avoid the tension and squabbles that have arisen between us all from time to time over money. I’ll order from the set menu, stay in a budget hotel and drink house wine if it keeps the peace.

On a trip to Lisbon last year, I ended up paying for the bread that the restaurant had charged us for because a squabble broke out over who’d eaten it and who was paying for it.

That same night, Lucy brought along a doggy bag from the previous night’s dinner and ate it instead of ordering a meal!

I laugh about it now, but it was embarrassing at the time.

I l ose patience when there are endless discussions about the cost of things, like before Christmas when I tried to arrange a pub lunch. After about 40 emails back and forth about the choice of pub being too expensive, I cancelled the whole thing.

It was my birthday recently and I wanted to have a special meal at a fancy restaurant, but I didn’t want to put Lucy, Kaidi and Latoya under pressure. Clearly they’re not as financially comfortable as me, and I try to be sensitive to that.

I sometimes struggle with walking the line between maintaining friendships and not excluding people while trying to live my life how I want. In the past, I ’ ve f el t annoyed about constantly having to compromise to fit in with what the girls can afford.

I know I’m in a fortunate position. I earn a good salary and my husband earns significantly more than me, so we have a good disposable income. Apart from my home, my biggest extravagance is holidays. Drew and I go away around six times a year, to destinations like South Africa and Thailand.

I can get frustrated when I’m away with the girls because we’re restricted by their budgets — but I bite my lip because it’s not worth the drama. I console myself by thinking that next time I go away with Drew, I can spend what I like without feeling guilty.

I’m a bit of a mother-hen to Lucy and Kaidi, cooking them dinner and giving them lifts if they need to run errands. They’ve spent Christmas with me in the past, and my home is always open to them. What’s the point in working hard for my lifestyle if I can’t share it with my friends?