Ephraim Hardcastle
DOWNTON Abbey’s rape scene is reported to have upset many fans, including the Countess of Carnarvon, chatelaine of Highclere Castle, where’s it’s filmed. ‘Lady Caravan’, as she’s known among snooty circles, says she’d prefer to watch ‘nice things’ on Sunday nights. Fortunately for her, she was not on the scene when the sixth Earl of Carnarvon, ‘Porchie’, who died aged 88 in 1987, ruled the roost. He was once accused of ravishing a house guest in her room and, when she fainted, reviving her with a pitcher of iced water. It was said he’d knock on ladies’ doors with an unorthodox part of his anatomy. ‘An uncompromisingly direct ladies man,’ said one of his obituaries. ANDREW Lloyd Webber launched his latest West End musical, Stephen Ward, at the former Soho site of Murray’s Cabaret Club, where Christine Keeler worked as a showgirl. His lordship disclosed – somewhat ungallantly, you may think – that his former mother-inlaw, Paula, mother of second wife Sarah Brightman, was a dancer at the notorious boîte. He added cheekily: ‘I am not really supposed to say that, but sorry, Paula, that’s the way it goes.’ The blighter does have a show to promote. CHORISTER and former Radio 2 presenter Aled Jones, 42, says he learned from the Queen that the Duke of Edinburgh was a fan. ‘I met her at a Commonwealth Day Service I sang at a couple of years ago. Prince Philip came along and I said, “Apparently you like my radio show”. “Rubbish”, he told me, “I only listen to that cheeky chappie Jones”. “That’s me”, I replied. He said, “Oh, yes! I love your show”. Fascinating! Wouldn’t you have had Philip down as a Radio 3 man? ONLY one Labour MP – portly Tom Watson – attended the launch party at the Intercontinental Hotel in Westminster for Damian McBride’s scabrous tome about his life poisoning the well for Gordon Brown. But a dozen or so Tory MPs who’d been dining downstairs with billionaire mover and shaker Lord Ashcroft flocked in, queuing to have their copies of his book signed by McP****face, as he was known by enemies. JEFFREY Archer is cross that his famous novel Kane and Abel failed to make the top 100 books list published last weekend by a Sunday paper – ‘despite 37million sales’. He adds modestly: ‘I shouldn’t really complain, as neither do Graham Greene, John Grisham, Freddie Forsyth or even my great hero, Stefan Zweig.’ Do I hear you say, ‘Who?’ Zweig (1881-1942) was an Austrian novelist, playwright, journalist and biographer, very popular in mainland Europe, but largely ignored in Britain. Except of course by cerebral Jeffrey. DISTINGUISHED actor Simon Callow CBE is to be honoured for his contribution to the theatre in the 2013 UK Theatre Awards. He tells The Stage newspaper that – despite years of one-man shows – he enjoys being directed by others. ‘I’ve only directed myself twice, and it was a disastrous idea. You let yourself down twice.’ A knighthood is in the bag, I’d have thought.