Miliboob bogged it big-time with his puerile attack
MARIA Miller’s severed head having just plopped into the basket, the Tory benches were on tremendous form. Not been this cheerful for a while. There is nothing like a personal disaster to lift the mood at Westminster. When David Cameron walked in, he was greeted with cheers from his backbenchers. The hurrahs were led by that incorrigible crawler ‘Sir’ Michael Ellis (Con, Northampton N).
Prime Minister’s Questions, everyone said, was going to be a nightmare for Mr Cameron.
The rolling news channels started building up PMQs as a mighty test.
A couple of minutes beforehand, the Speaker, happy to see Mr Cameron in a spot, asked for hush, saying: ‘I understand the air of expectation.’ Translation: ‘Isn’t this juicy?’
As is sometimes the case, ‘everyone’ was misinformed.
Mrs Miller’s ‘resignation’ at 7.30am made life awkward for Ed Miliband, robbing him of attack lines. Miliboob bogged it big-time. As is now the custom, he, too, was cheered by the Tories when he rose to the despatch box.
‘The events of the last week have caused deep concern and anger,’ said Mr Miliband. ‘What lessons has the Prime Minister learned from his handling of the situation?’
Mr Cameron: ‘The biggest lesson I have learned is that public anger is still very raw.’ Mr Miliband: ‘ He had no answer!’
He could have come over all statesmanlike and quietly offered Mr Cameron help in reforming the stinky Standards Committee. That would have said: ‘Look at me, I’m grown up, we have a crisis in elected politics.’
Instead he went on a puerile attack about how Mr Cameron had been ‘the last person in the country’ to think Mrs Miller should not be sacked.
Hang on. Miliband himself, on Tuesday, thought that.
Labour MPs – aghast that Westminster expenses are igniting public fury again – offered Mr Miliband little vocal support.
Only once in their ten-minute exchange did Mr Cameron do that gesture of looking down at his lap, shaking his head in a snippy ‘I’m getting caned’ expression.
The rest of the time, bizarrely, it was Mr Cameron who was mocking his opponent for being weak.
It was Mr Cameron who suggested crossparty co-operation to reform the standards procedures, and it was Mr Cameron who defended the honour of ‘this good and honest Parliament with good and hardworking people in it’. Labour MPs nodded agreement to that.
Once Mr Miliband’s questions were finished, the waters closed back in and the Tories were asking about the ‘ long-term economic plan’.
A couple of Labour MPs asked if Mr Cameron had sacked Mrs Miller, but that line of inquiry did not amount to much. An odd moment: on the squashed benches, as Nigel Adams (Con, Selby & Ainsty) was about to ask a question on coal mines, his local pit having just been closed. Mr Adams reached into what he thought was the right pocket of his suit jacket and, to his surprise, pulled out a packet of fags.
Turned out the MPs were packed so close to one another he had accidentally picked his neighbour’s pocket.
Sajid Javid, the Yul Brynner lookalike who has succeeded Mrs Miller as culture secretary, had squeezed himself on to the front bench between Danny Alexander and Theresa Villiers. Mr Javid spread his thighs wide apart, asserting ownership of that little patch of green bench.
What I want to know is: does Mr Javid have any interest in culture?
The most depressing thing about Mrs Miller was that she projected no interest
in that part of her brief. The arts are more important, more influential than much daily politics. They are, to be pompous f or a moment, the demesne of Truth and self-discovery and classlessness.
No serious politician should be without an artistic aspect. Mr Cameron has long underestimated the arts. As PMQs ended, Mr Miliband, wandering out, caught the attention of Maria Eagle (Lab, Garston & Halewood) and shot his eyes to the heavens. A second later, Chris Bryant (Lab, Rhondda) gave his leader’s arm a possibly consoling pat.