Why faking passion will not fool your other half...
HONESTY is the best policy in the bedroom, it seems.
Research shows that we are extremely adept at judging how satisfied our other half is with their sex life.
The same applies to dissatisfaction – meaning there is little point in faking it.
Men, however, can take pride in the finding that they may be better lovers than they realise.
In a study of 84 couples, each person filled in a questionnaire on their own sexual satisfaction, and another about how happy they thought their partner was with their sex life.
When the answers were compared, the results of the two surveys tallied.
Lead author Erin Fallis said: ‘On average, both men and women have fairly accurate and unbiased perceptions of their partners’ sexual satisfaction.’
Despite this, there were hints that men underestimate how satisfied their wife or girlfriend is – meaning some may be better in bed than they give themselves credit for.
The Canadian study, reported in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour, found communication and the ability to read emotions were key to understanding your partner.
The researchers, from Waterloo University in Ontario, said their results help dispel the notion that the sexes have trouble understanding each other.
They added: ‘We suspect that having a more accurate understanding of one’s partner’s sexual satisfaction will have positive impacts for both partners’ sexual satisfaction.’
Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr studied the topic for her book, Sex Academy. She said: ‘Many people felt they didn’t need to discuss these things specifically as their partner “knew how they felt”, reflecting some aspects of this research. This may be the case and can be very positive . . . however, it’s important that partners don’t turn into “mind readers” who get it wrong.’
Dr Spurr said people should not fake satisfaction because they don’t know how to tell their partner they aren’t happy.
She said doing so would lead to ‘issues being swept under the carpet where they grow bigger’.