A FAIRYTALE ON THE HIGH SEAS
Breakfast with Shrek, tea with Puss In Boots, this is a dream come true . . . for adults, too!
NEVER underestimate the power of a man in a padded suit. It’s our first morning at sea, and we’re having pancakes in the dining room of our cruise ship. A big, clumsy creature has just hurtled into the room. He’s bright green, 8 ft tall and has a grin two inches wider than my whole head.
And he’s standing by our table. He doesn’t say a word. My children (and their parents) are starstruck. But, then, when was the last time Shrek invaded your breakfast?
Shrek is part of royal Caribbean’s ‘Dreamworks experience’, an attempt to stretch cruises beyond their traditional market and steer them towards 30 and 40-something parents with young children.
We’re on board the Allure Of The Seas, the largest cruise liner in the world. Sure, the inheritance-spenders are here in good numbers, but there are also loads of younger folk. One day, while we’re eating lunch, I make a note of the music playing over the sound system. The Smiths followed by The Clash followed by David Bowie. Hardly the stuff of pensioners.
There are ‘ character parades’, and ‘ character breakfasts’ and ice-dance shows — and Dreamworks films every minute of the day if you want them — but on a ship of this size, there’s so much going on at any one time that many of the passengers are utterly unaware that Shrek is even among us.
On the other hand, our children — George, seven, and Daisy, four — are totally aware of the fact. Breakfast on day one is a noisy procession of tableside visits from Shrek, Princess Fiona and Puss In Boots. One night, I take George along to a clever ice dance show based on Dreamworks’ How To Train Your Dragon movie (there’s a 775-seater ice-rink on board).
They also watch a few films on the non-stop Dreamworks channel on our cabin TV. But — praise be! — that’s pretty much enough Shrekking even for them.
Do you realise that as you read this there is a full-size fairground carousel permanently bobbing its way round the world’s oceans? Well, it’s right here on board the Allure and it’s utterly enchanting. We make a point of going for a spin every night before dinner.
THE ship is massive. There are 8,500 people (a quarter of them staff). On the last night, the catering boss announces that more than 100,000 ‘ plated meals’ are served every single day. (The food’s excellent, by the way.) We boarded at Fort Lauderdale, Florida, an hour’s drive from Miami airport, where we stayed overnight before embarking.
We’re on a ‘Western Caribbean’ cruise, which means stop-offs at Labadee, a private Haitian island; Cozumel, Mexico (where we have a thrilling day snorkelling with huge stingrays); and I celebrate my birthday by drinking pina coladas on the beach in Falmouth, Jamaica. Life could be worse.
Again it’s the sheer size of the vessel that makes it possible for the on-board theatre to have 1,500 seats and a Broadway production of Chicago! And two climbing walls, three nightclubs and a zip wire from one side of the ship to the other nearly 100 ft above ground. (My wife loves it; I strap on the harness, put on the safety helmet . . . then chicken out.)
But how to find the time for all this stuff? I’ve saved the best till last: the Adventure Ocean kids’ clubs. every day, the children beg to go to there. It’s an amazing area with five play rooms, an art studio, a children’s theatre, even a science lab (George did an experiment about germs, involving glitter).
The staff — they’ve all got silly names, like ‘Ding Dong Dawn’ — have a brilliant rapport with the kids and obviously love their work. When the last day arri ves, who s hould oversee the green gunge ceremony? There’s only one candidate: the big green man himself.
Thank you, Shrek. And good night.
TRAVEL FACTS A NINE-NIGHT holiday on the Allure Of The Seas (0844 493 2061, royalcaribbean.co.uk) departing from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, calling at Haiti, Jamaica and Mexico, is from £1,689 per adult and £1,449 per child (based on four sharing) departing November 30, 2014. Includes return flights from Heathrow to Miami, pre-hotel in Ft Lauderdale, transfers and seven-night cruise, meals and on-board entertainment.