+++ WESTMINSTER NOTICEBOARD +++

THANKS to Michael Gove’s brave reforms, a record number of students are heading for university, including more from disadvantaged backgrounds. There is also an increase in passes in maths and science, and fewer in Mickey Mouse subjects. So remind me again why the PM sacked the finest Education Secretary that we’ve had in a generation.

Meanwhile, gove’s adorable Bichon, Snowy (left), is up for Westminster Dog of the Year. White, male and middle-class — the poor pooch doesn’t stand a chance.

A POLL shows people want Boris to replace Dave as PM. I took a straw poll in my hairdresser’s, and the stylists said they’d never trust a man who looks like he uses straighteners to create his faux foppish mop.

outraged that Britain’s most f amous benefits scrounger, White Dee, is to appear at the Tory conference? Well, with all those expenses-fiddling MPs in the audience, it will be a toss-up as to who has ripped off the taxpayer more.

EX-DEFENCE Secretary Liam Fox shot down Dave over his limp-wristed response to the Iraq crisis, warning that ISIS is our enemy and must be defeated. Perhaps if he had promoted Fox in the reshuffle to a proper job, instead of humiliatingly offering him a junior berth, he wouldn’t now be under such sustained friendly fire.

Despite an annual taxfree grant of £27,875 to rent a home in london (on top of his £89,435 salary plus expenses), ex-Tory minister Mark Simmonds said it was inadequate for his needs. given his family home is a £1 million, seven-bedroom former abbey set in 15 acres with heated pool, stables and a tennis court, only a wing of Buckingham Palace would be up to his standards.