STILL THE BIGGEST FISH IN A POND FULL OF MINNOWS
WAS he a broken man? Were there tears? Did the voice crack and fail as, once more with feeling, Alex Salmond s quared up to hi s opponents for his 215th and final First Minister’s Questions?
He had, after all, arrived at this juncture in his career through failure – failure to fulfil that l ongest held, most fundamental of his political dreams.
At least let there be a cry of existential anguish, a hand hopelessly groping for the First Ministerial lectern as his rivals moved in from either side for the final kill.
But, no, if there were a more chipper soul than Alex Salmond at his FMQ swansong yesterday, they concealed it admirably.
His former opposite number Johann Lamont certainly of f ered little competition, sitting scunnered through the half-hour ordeal, no doubt still f uming about the things unloved ex-Scottish Labour leaders do.
Her predecessor Iain Gray knows that feeling only too well. He gave it 20 minutes before slipping quietly out of the chamber, for once using his vast experience of keeping a low profile to his own advantage.
The pair belong to a bigger club than you might imagine.
Mr Salmond, who enjoys researching these matters, told stand-in sparring partner Jackie Baillie that, of the Scottish Labour leaders and caretaker leaders he had faced i n the Scottish parliament over the years, she was number ten.
Nor would the Scottish Tories or the Lib Dems need any reminders of the many personnel changes in their top ranks in the decade since Mr Salmond regained the leadership of his party.
And all three main opposition parties now trailed very miserably in the polls.
Eight weeks after the referendum which broke nationalist hearts and sealed a clear win for unionist parties, defeat was looking a lot less painful than it was supposed to. And victory considerably less sweet.
Miss Baillie managed to land just one glancing blow as Mr Salmond, however beaten, however finished as First Minister, refused to play the f atally wounded political beast.
Her opening question was an inquiry as to whether the leader of the Scottish Government would care to sum himself up in a single word. To hoots of laughter from his own party Mr Salmond responded: ‘No’.
But Miss Baillie’s rejoinder was sharper: ‘As ever, the First Minister is in denial.’
Less successful was her pointless request for Mr Salmond to name the members of his cabinet who should keep their jobs when his deputy Miss Sturgeon took over.
Over the years, replied the First Minister with that familiar chortle which telegraphs the put-down, Labour had called for the resignation of every single SNP cabinet minister.
‘The only person they haven’t called on to resign is me – and I’m the one who’s resigning.’ How the lieutenants laughed. And how curious the dynamic in a parliament where the widest smiles were on the faces of the defeated.
The SNP may have lost the referendum but command a greater approval rating than at any time in their history.
Scottish Labour may have succeeded in keeping the union together but, in climbing into bed with the Conservatives to do so, contrived to tear itself apart. Which brought the outgoing First Minister to his parting shot at Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson.
POINTING out that her party’s Westminster coalition with the Lib Dems had hardly done their popularity any good either, he said: ‘ On the criteria of destroying other opposition political parties – Ruth Davidson is undoubtedly the most brilliant political leader in the history of the Scottish parliament.’
A beaten First Minister then, but one who can still beat almost any of his Scottish parliamentary opponents at will. If, as is widely suspected, his future lies in the Westminster parliament, perhaps Mr Salmond will find worthier adversaries there. Their big fish come from a much bigger pond, after all.
It is one of the delicious ironies of Mr Salmond’s career that he appears to thrive in the big pond he aims to destroy and rather stagnates in the smaller one for which he has fought all his political life.