AND FINALLY

The Nativity will always inspire me

A FEW days ago I had lunch with my ex-husband.

We joked about getting older, remembered the days when we were young journalists at the start of our careers, agreed we’re both still addicted to work, exchanged plenty of family news, shared sadness over someone ill. . . and it couldn’t have been more warm, more lovely.

In him I still see the 23-year-old who proposed to me 47 years ago — which reminds me that for some lucky people the habit of loving is (thankfully) very hard to break.

But is this little personal story of peace and goodwill really down to luck?

Certainly there is luck in who your parents are, yet even people who are brought up in difficult situations can, and do, transform their own destiny through sheer will, refusing to accept that misery is handed on.

Surely all the profoundly good aspects of being human — wrapped up in i deas of forgiveness, tolerance and reconciliation — do not come about through some random roll of a dice, but through intention and effort?

I’ve confessed before that the sheer meanness and rage within families that filters back to me through this column makes me very sad.

Against that disharmony — not to mention the larger suffering in the world — I consciously summon up the beautiful i mage of the Nativity.

The image of the mother, Mary, tenderly leaning over her baby while her husband Joseph (slightly bewildered, as he would be) stands protectively by — that image, seen throughout my life in great art, children’s drawings, stained glass windows and countless Christmas cards has helped to create the person I am.

I think all of us need to choose a story (a myth, if you like) to live by and mine is the inspirational message of Christianity.

Misused it may have been throughout centuries, yet the message is indeed one of forgiveness, selflessness, peace and goodwill.

Oh, I have as many doubts as the next person. And that’s where the effort comes in. To stumble after that star.

I wish you peace of mind this Christmas and hope that those who are at odds with their nearest might reach out and transform them into the dearest — through a leap of humanity and faith.