AND FINALLY

Family that didn’t give up on love

LAST week, i nstead of writing, I took time out at home to sort out administration, read review books, put away decorations and celebrate two family birthdays — my father’s 93rd and my daughter’s 35th. My son just reached 41, too. Phew!

It was also heartening to work my way through some lovely cards and emails, thanking me for the column and wishing me well. One especially pleased me, for bearing out my instinct that small rituals and symbolic acts can be very helpful.

Let ‘A’ take up the story: ‘I just wanted to share with you something fantastic that has happened within our family this Christmas. My mum and I always read your advice column. We love your unusual answers and the way you use your own life experience and enjoy the quotations at the top.

‘We, too, have suffered family fallouts. After the death of my father, we somehow lost our way with my much-loved brother. My mum constantly tried to keep communication open — to no avail. It was her one wish in life to see him again.

‘Not long ago, I read a letter on your page with a similar problem. You advised the lady to write a simple, friendly letter to her son, enclosing a photo of herself with him when young. My mum had nearly given up all hope but, reading that, she decided to be led by you and give it one last try.

‘After a couple of weeks, my brother sent a Christmas card i n reply and has arranged a meeting with Mum i n January. I am convinced it was the photo of them together that did the trick. Maybe it was easy for him to put aside a letter, but the photo would have been hard to ignore as, in my heart, I know he must still love her, as she is the best mum in the world.

‘I just wanted to let you know how your idea of the photo (something we’d never have thought of) worked wonders. It just shows — you must never give up.’

Yes! This year, let’s all hope for ‘wonders’ — and try to work for them, too.