What price dignity, Fergie?

Blundering Fergie? i just can’t look any more. She is a mountain of mortification, an avalanche of embarrassment, a woman who has taken self-delusion to unsurmountable new peaks.

The duchess (right) appeared on American television this week, punti ng her l atest money- spinning wheeze. A kind of get-thin-quick kit, containing a juicer, a book and a dVd to explain her ‘emulsifier diet’. Haven’t we been here before?

The old fool appeared to name drop like only she can, suggesting her kit was somehow connected with imperial College in london. Britain’s foremost scientific university quickly explained it had nothing to do with Ferg and her magic tomato juicer. resulting in beetroot faces all round.

Still, all publicity is good publicity, particularly when you have a $99 slimming gadget to flog. How many ways has she l ost weight?

First it was calorie counting with Weight Watchers, then it was cutting out sugar, followed by three months in the Alps with the world’s most expensive trainer, plus years of therapy. now it’s emulsifying — which is mortifying.

Fergie is dropping the pounds in one way — and then piling on the £££ in the way she loves the best. Over the years, our girl has learned nothing, and still stumbles around in a non-fattening fog of greed and entitlement. Mike Tindall and Zara are worried about money. Oh, my heart bleeds for these highly privileged royal sporting personalities. A couple who travel the world cashing in on all kind of lucrative sponsorships. They should thank their lucky stars, instead of pleading poverty. And royal gifts — why is it always the case that the most is given to those who need it least? Prince George has been gifted more than 700 toys in his short life and some of them, like this giant furry squirrel from the Glendelvine estate in Perthshire, are lovely. i do hope all those smashing toys are donated to orphanages and hospitals, rather than left to gather dust in the attic of some draughty palace. Wouldn’t the gift-givers be thrilled?