Tragedy of schoolgirl who poured out bullying torment on YouTube
Agony in her own words...
HOLDING handwritten placards up to the camera, a bullied teenager tells movingly of f eeling suicidal but vows not to let her tormentors ‘win’.
Toni Connell says people hate her and adds ominously: ‘I don’t know what to do’. Less than a year after secretly posting the heartbreaking videos on YouTube, the 15-year- old was found dead at her family’s home.
The promising GCSE student, whose ambition was to be an actress, is believed to have committed suicide.
Last night her grieving mother blamed Toni’s school for failing to stop the bullying and for putting too much pressure on pupils to get top grades.
Amanda Connell, who was unaware her daughter had been posting videos online, said that Ockendon Academy in Essex ‘puts a lot of pressure on the children – they have to take some responsibility and make changes’. She said that Toni had been getting to school at 7.30am and coming home at 4pm exhausted as she was trying to fit in extra study sessions.
‘Children at the school are told they will never amount to anything in life if they get less than As and Bs. Once Year 11 hit, the pressure increased even more and I think it just became unbearable for her.’
Toni – who had dreams of becoming an actress in the TV soap Hollyoaks and was due to audition for drama college – set up her own YouTube channel in 2013.
On it she posted five videos of herself in which she holds up placards to the camera revealing secrets about herself.
In one, titled, ‘My secrets – self-harm help’, she tells viewers about her insecurities,
‘She was bubbly and talkative’
what her bullies say and confesses that she has felt ‘suicidal five times’.
She holds up the following placards, while keeping her face hidden from the camera: ‘Loads of stuff gets spread about me.’ ‘Loads of people hate me.’ ‘I’m not even popular.’ ‘I’ve been bullied since Year 7.’ Another says: ‘The next three are names I’ve been called: ugly, lesbian, tramp.’
Then: ‘To be popular you have to be a slag, long hair, pretty, have boobs.’ She adds: ‘I don’t know what to do?!?’ Tragically, at the end of this video, Toni offers advice to anyone else going through the same torment. ‘Don’t do suicide,’ she writes. ‘Don’t let them win.’
Toni, who had an older brother and sister was active on other social media, including notorious cyber-bullying site Ask.fm, which has been linked to more than 15 teenage suicides in the UK and abroad. On it, she writes of how she is bullied and feels ‘ugly’.
Evidence of cyber-bullying can be seen on her Facebook profile, where underneath some of Toni’s photographs classmates have written ridiculing comments such as ‘gay’ and ‘sad’. She replies: ‘I can’t do nothing on here without people commenting.’
It is not known how Toni died, but an Essex Police spokesman said that her death at the family home in South Ockendon is not being treated as suspicious.
An East of England Ambulance spokesman said it received a call at 7.35pm on Wednesday last week to a report of a patient unconscious and not breathing. Toni was pronounced dead at Queen’s Hospital, Romford.
Mrs Connell, 46, said her daughter recently had a brace fitted on her teeth which she was self-conscious about. She said: ‘I know children must have picked on her about her brace as she had been excited about getting it but once she went to school she was immediately begging us to have it taken off. I am very angry with the school as they knew she was being bullied but never did anything about it.’
Less than a year ago, another pupil at the school, Temidayo Joseph, 16, was found dead hours after collecting his GCSE results.
Mrs Connell says that she believes it is ‘no coincidence’ that there were two suspected suicides within a year of each other at the same school.
‘We are hurting right now, but if Toni’s death can prevent another child needlessly dying then she will at least have achieved something,’ she said.
Toni’s stepfather Paul Connell said: ‘The school’s motto “Be the best you can be” is rubbish.’ The 47-year- old operations manager added: ‘It’s all about pressuring children to get good grades for the school.’
Paying tribute to her daughter, Mrs Connell said: ‘Toni was bubbly and talkative. She loved animals – we had 13 rabbits but her pride and joy was her hamster, Tibbles. She was always singing and dancing.’
Ann Carol McEwen left a tribute online, saying: ‘Toni carried out her work experience with me at the Thameside Theatre just before Christmas. I am shocked to the core that this has happened.
‘She was ready and willing to help in any way she could and a pleasure to work with.’
Ockendon Academy executive principal Barbara King said: ‘The Ockendon Academy has been working closely with Thurrock Council’s Children’s Services as well as community adolescent mental health services to support our young people and staff in the school following the tragic death of Year 11 student Toni Connell. We are aware that this tragic news can lead to speculation in the Press and on social media regarding the circumstances around Toni’s death and have advised parents that police are working to establish the circumstances surrounding the tragedy and how it would be inappropriate for the school to comment further whil e those investigations continue.’
For confidential support, call the Samaritans on 08457 909090, visit a local Samaritans branch or go to www.samaritans.org.