Straight to the POINT

÷ I RANG my mother-in-law to tell her to watch the eclipse (Mail) on TV. ‘It’s all right,’ she said, ‘I’m listening to it on the wireless.’

GEOFF BARKER, Altrincham, Cheshire. ÷ RICHARD III’s remains will be buried in Leicester tomorrow. Shouldn’t they be burying Leicester City football team with him?

RORY MUNRO, Quorn, Leics. ÷ WHY on Earth did the girl placing the crown on Richard III’s coffin have to wear a high-viz jacket? After all the centuries he’s been dead, would he be worried about health and safety?

L. R. CARTER, Markington, N. Yorks. ÷ JEREMY CLARKSON would like to present a Countryfile-style show (Mail). With Shaun the Sheep as The Stig?

HELEN NEWBOLD, Shepshed, Leics. ÷ CHERYL FERNANDEZ-VERSINI complains that she has to pay ‘a f****** lot of tax’ (Mail). If so, she must be making a f****** lot of money.

A. EDWADS, Chigwell, Essex. ÷ ‘BED blocking’ (Mail) occurs when older people have nowhere to go from hospital. Here in Devon, 20 care homes have just been shut down. It’s obvious why there’s nowhere for older patients to go.

Mrs D. SMITH, Exeter. ÷A FEW more names for the one-way trip to Mars (Letters): Dennis Skinner, Princes Andrew and Edward, Harvey Keitel, Lewis Hamilton’s ex-girlfriend and, if room, Vernon Kay, his wife and the cast of TOWIE.

RICHARD COWBURN, address supplied. ÷ THE Mars trip is seriously over-subscribed. We’re going to need a second or even third bus — and they’ll soon be overloaded.

PETER BALL, London W6.