John Suchet mourns ‘love of his life’ as wife loses battle with dementia
THEIR relationship, he once said, was ‘made in heaven’.
Yesterday John Suchet was in mourning after losing his wife Bonnie following her decadelong battle with dementia.
A death notice in a national newspaper read: ‘Bonnie died peacefully on April 15 2015 aged 73. Adored wife of John, devoted mother of Alec and Hereward, mother-in-law of Peta- Jane, grandmother of Finn and Alexa.’
The broadcaster declined to comment, stating it was a ‘private family matter’, but fans took to social networking site Twitter to offer their condolences.
Classic FM presenter Suchet, now 71, has spoken openly about his wife’s diagnosis and the toll it took on their relationship, writing a book and becoming honorary pres- ident of the Dementia UK charity.
In an interview with the Daily Mail’s Weekend magazine in September, Suchet appeared to confirm he was in a new relationship with a woman called Nula, who has featured in posts and holiday photographs he has shared on Twitter.
Asked about the saddest time that shook his world, he replied: ‘Watching my wife Bonnie suffer from dementia. Nula and I both have spouses in end- of-life care with dementia. They have no recognition, no bodily control, no dignity left, yet the priority is to keep them alive. We are kinder to animals. The Bonnie I remember no longer exists.’
In 2009, he broke down on air on BBC Breakfast as he gave an account of his wife’s battle. He told presenters she was unaware she had the illness, or that he was on TV talking about it. He added that he sometimes had to beat up a cushion to deal with his frustration at the loss of their relationship.
He has also said in the past that he wished she had been diagnosed with cancer rather than dementia, adding: ‘I cannot believe I’m saying these words but it will give you some idea of how cruel this illness is.’
Suchet began to notice a difference in his wife’s behaviour in March 2004, and she was diagnosed with dementia in February 2006. For three years he cared for her by himself, keeping her condition secret from all but family and close friends.
In one interview he admitted having ‘suicidal moments’, saying: ‘There are times when I want to bury my head in my hands. When I persuade myself she would be better off without me.’
Suchet was married with children when he and Bonnie – a glamorous American who reminded him of Grace Kelly – became neighbours in Henley-on-Thames. She was also married with children.
But the pair were unable to resist their mutual attraction, and while Suchet was working as US correspondent for ITN, Bonnie flew out for a secret meeting with him and they made a pact to be together. His marriage broke up shortly afterwards and Bonnie left her husband. He was 39 and she was 42.
He described her as ‘the love of my life’, saying: ‘It was truly a grand passion. We had found each other. I never really thought of having an affair. We just wanted to be together for the rest of our lives and nothing was going to stop us. We shared
‘We just wanted to
be together’
everything.’ In 2010, he revealed Bonnie had been moved to a residential home to be given better care, and described how he had been forced tell her they were going to a lovely hotel for the weekend.
He said at the time: ‘The worst thing about this wretched disease is that you behave as if the person has died. Yet I go and see her. She knows I am special and greets me with a hug and tears of joy. But does she know I am her husband? I am not going to ask. Does she know she has dementia? I don’t know, and I’m not going to ask.
‘She has never once asked the staff about me when I have gone. Again, that breaks my heart and makes me happy. Every emotion has a flip side with dementia.’
Suchet had given up work to care for Bonnie when he was forced to put her into the residential home, and so was at a loss when a call came from Classic FM.
He said: ‘It could not have come at a better time in my life. I needed to be helped to move on. It’s given me a reason to get up in the morning, it really has.
‘The two important things are: what would Bon want for me? And secondly, if I give in and wallow, then dementia has another victim, hasn’t it?’