JONATHAN CAINER

Hi Jonathan, In my forecast, you said a person’s identity cannot be lost. I’m not so sure. What if someone has Alzheimer’s or another mental health issue? I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for years. I no longer know who I am. It is terrifying to feel so far from others’ reality. Please don’t publish my name. Dear Anonymous, You could argue that if any of us ever forget that we are spirits, only briefly inhabiting human forms, our sense of identity is equally incomplete, no matter how much we may remember about who else we’re supposed to be.

ARIES

Mar 21 — Apr 20

SOME people argue just for the sake of it. Others have more meaningful reasons to disagree. They may know, through experience, that many assertions are unreliable. People say what they have been told to say — or echo what they have been taught to believe — without really checking to see if there is any truth in their view. Or someone may hear an explanation being given and feel quite sure it is wrong. Such differences are healthy. Respect them, as they arise. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS

Apr 21 — May 21

ARE YOU ready to think the unthinkable. If something is unthinkable, how can anyone ever think it? What we mean is the taboo. The world, it seems, is full of secrets we are all trying to keep from one another. Truths that we fear it may be too impolite to tell. Or opinions that we fear will offend others if we give voice to them. What is ironic is that often the folk around us are hiding from us much the same thing we are trying to hide from them. A little more candour may be called for. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI

May 22 — June 22

IF YOUR responsibilities become a burden, if we have too many promises to keep, if there are too many things to worry about, we feel the pressure as a load we must carry. Even if we can put it down for a while, sooner or later we’ll have to pick it up again. Won’t that be all the more depressing? But you are in a position to lighten your load. It can’t vanish in an instant, but if you deal with something you have been avoiding, you’ll make surprising progress. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER

June 23 — July 23

WHEN psychologists and psychiatrists go out drinking, what are their conversations like? ‘Good to see you.’ ‘Do you feel it is really good or are you just experiencing an obligation to say that?’ ‘Are you asking me that question in an attempt to expose my hidden hostility or to help me understand the root of my over-eagerness to please?’ And so on. Heaven knows how they get round to deciding whose turn it is to buy the next round. Don’t fall

into such a quagmire. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5604.

LEO

July 24 — Aug 23

PHYSICISTS are keen to have us believe there once was a very Big Bang. The idea that the universe had a beginning defies the concept of eternity. Eternity has no beginning, it has no end. That is why it is often symbolised by a circle. Any attempt to comprehend such an idea is enough to blow the mind of a mere mortal who leads a very finite existence, no matter how high their IQ. We will return to this debate tomorrow. Avoid inventing crazy explanations for things you can’t grasp. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO

Aug 24 — Sep 23

HOW much energy do plants devote to yesterday? Do tall trees think back wistfully to when they were saplings? Do they contemplate their future security? Or do they just simply exist in the here and now, blissfully unaware that there has ever been — or may ever be — a there or a then? Are we not all encouraged by the gurus of mindfulness and meditation to be similarly centred? Like a tree, you can be bigger (and wiser) than whatever is bugging you. This will yet help you bear rich fruit. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA

Sep 24 — Oct 23

WE ALL do our best to rub along with one another. We avoid arguments. We tread delicately around sensitive subjects and, where we know we are in danger of saying something that will upset a colleague, we bite our tongue and raise some other topic of conversation instead. But none of that means we see eye to eye entirely with those around us. Events are giving an airing to some bone of contention that has been buried for too long. That may yet bring good news. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO

Oct 24 — Nov 22

WHEN we leave this world and enter the realm beyond, will we be greeted by some official with a clipboard? Will we need to fill in a form to see if we are destined for Heaven or Hell? What will be on it? ‘Were you well-behaved? Did you let anyone down?’ What if no pointsscoring system existed at all? What if there was only one question? Did you allow yourself to appreciate what an incredible gift your life was? Today brings you a chance to do just that. It may count for more than you think. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 23 — Dec 21

SOME folk are fairweather friends — there for us when we don’t need much help and gone to ground when times are tough. Others clearly stick with us through thick and thin. Some might be in either camp. We should surely give them the benefit of the doubt before deciding that there is artifice in the affinity. You aren’t sure quite who to approach for assistance with a sensitive matter. Begin where your heart would most feel right and safe to start. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN

Dec 22 — Jan 20

YOU may not know everything, but you know enough. There may be gaps in your experience, but you do have some useful knowledge of a situation. Think of that experience as an island in an ocean of uncertainty. You will be on safe ground as long as you stick to what’s familiar. And if it’s necessary to venture out across the great water of the unknown, first fashion a boat from whatever materials you can find. You’ve got what it takes to start creating all that you need. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 — Feb 19

WHAT if we just do nothing? What if we give up, shrug our shoulders and adopt an easy-going ‘take it as it comes’ approach? Is that an abrogation of a great responsibility? An act of reprehensible laziness? Or are such comments borne only of misplaced guilt and an over-reliance on some outmoded work ethic? Before assuming the only way to go forward is to run as fast as you can, consider the possibility that all you need will come to you if you just sit still. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES

Feb 20 — Mar 20

WE WANT to belong to the winning team. We want to know we have nailed our colours to the mast from which flies the flag of victory. It is human instinct. So much so, that it can, if we are not careful, supersede discrimination. The slight matter of an objective appraisal begins to seem like an irritating irrelevance. Never mind asking: ‘Do we deserve this?’ Just keep shouting: ‘We are the best,’ until we can believe nothing else. As it happens, you truly are on the right side and you will yet reap the benefit. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5612.