Why won’t my new man make love?

QUESTION: My man is almost perfect: my age (58), handsome, kind and interesting. But after eight months of dating we still haven’t had sex. He holds my hand, pecks me on the lips and says he’s my boyfriend, but I’m starting to feel we are just friends. I’ve tried to bring up the issue, but he just said he doesn’t like to rush things. ANSWER: What is the difference between a male pal and a boyfriend? Most women want palpable signs they are alluring.

What is this man’s romantic history? Has he been burned by a love affair? We characterise men as having fireproof libidos, but they are just as vulnerable to erotic disappointment as women. You should also bear in mind that many men experience sexual dysfunction in their 50s and feel too embarrassed to discuss the matter. They would rather suffer or be misunderstood than be open with partners.

There’s also a chance he’s one of those middle-aged people who has given up on sex. Strange though it may seem to you, some people get to a point in their lives where they prefer a walk, hug and conversation.

You need him to come clean on why he’s not taking your relationship into the bedroom. But work out how much you’d mind if sex isn’t on the cards. Could you cope without it if you felt cherished and admired?

Are you willing to hold his hand through GP appointments if he admits to sexual dysfunction?

Perhaps you’d be happier in an erotic relationship with a more passionate bloke while maintaining this man in your life as a great friend.