DAD SHOULD SHARE THE HOSPITAL BED

NOT SO long ago, it was thought in the UK that if fathers were allowed in the delivery room, they’d faint and cause chaos.

In the Sixties, the first man who stayed with his partner in the delivery room of a big American teaching hospital only managed it by handcuffing himself to the delivery table.

Even after fathers were allowed in, they were treated as an optional extra. They often had to wear gowns, masks, caps and overshoes.

This produced a barrier between the woman and her partner — they couldn’t even kiss each other.

Most women wanted their partners with them during labour. Yet the men were often sent away because, ‘It’ll be hours yet’ or ‘Nothing’s happening.’ Occasionally, a midwife tried to form a feminine bond with the mother by saying something like: ‘We women understand each other — men can’t know.’

In a disturbing number of hospitals, the man was asked to wait outside during minor nursing and obstetric procedures, and staff forgot to invite him in again.

He’d also be barred from attending a forceps delivery or Caesarean section, just when the mother was most likely to need him. I’ve long campaigned for acknowledgement of a father’s role in childbirth, and things are changing. But there’s still a way to go.

Even now, in our high-tech hospital culture, a father often ends up being heavily patronised. Visiting hours are restricted, and it’s assumed he doesn’t need to be consulted about treatments that affect the mother or baby.

Even the father’s image is stuck in a time warp. He’s assumed to be a humorous figure who’s in a state of confusion and hopelessness.

Personally, I’d like to see the day when all hospitals have large double beds in which mother and father can be together, with the baby in a crib on the side.