Ephraim Hardcastle
TYCOON-turned-TV star Lord Sugar, 68, says the newly launched Apple Watch looks like a ‘cheap, Chinese’ equivalent. He remarks dismissively of the hugely successful company responsible: ‘If they brought out a hairdryer they would sell a million.’ Why should the fact that his own, largely unlamented Amstrad computers now rest in landfills nationwide deter plucky Alan from biting a chunk out of mighty Apple?
DESPITE revealing that he’d slept with 500 women dating back to 1964, disc jockey Tony Blackburn has never faced allegations of sexual misconduct like former Radio 1 colleagues Jimmy Savile and Dave Lee Travis. A clue about how he preserved his reputation came on ITV’s Loose Women. Twice-married, Blackburn, 72, was introduced with archive clips of him hosting pop shows featuring short-skirted young women dancing. He was perfectly aware of the temptations and dangers presented. He was heard to remark: ‘Weren’t they fabulous? You could get arrested for some of those moments, I can tell you.’
GAY millionaire Ivan Massow, 47, a close friend of Dame Joan Collins, is struggling in his bid to be the Tories’ London mayoral candidate. Entrepreneur Ivan hasn’t helped himself much by launching what is being described as ‘the worst political campaign video in history’. Appearing before a pink screen, pictured, he announces creepily: ‘I want to live with you. It’ll only be for a night. I want you to show me where you go out. Where your kids go to school.’ He adds: ‘So please, can I come and live with you? I promise to be good...’ One succinct online comment: ‘Buttock-clenchingly awful!’ Lock your doors!
MEGA-RICH, Labour-supporting Harry Potter author JK Rowling, 49, insists that her famous creation Hogwarts isn’t a feepaying school as such, explaining to fans: ‘There’s no tuition fees! The Ministry of Magic covers the cost of all magical education.’ Back in the real world, Ms Rowling donated £1million of her fabulous earnings to Labour when tax-and-spend wizard Gordon Brown was PM.
COMMENDABLY urging civil servants to replace annoying jargon with ‘plain English’, the Prime Minister can be confident his own language is a model of clarity, immune from misunderstanding. For instance, re Twitter, he remarked pungently on Absolute Radio: ‘Too many twits might make a t***.’
DOES the Queen need some new supporters? Some of those ‘defending’ HM over the Nazi salute film seem to make matters worse. Royal expert Robert Lacey, 71, didn’t do well arguing on Radio 4 against German-born historian Karina Urbach, of the University of London, who called for the Royal Archives to be opened. Incidentally, shouldn’t the BBC have mentioned that Lacey’s second wife, Lady Jane Rayne, 83, was a maid of honour at the Queen’s coronation?
HER unfortunate, 1933 ‘Nazi salute’ notwithstanding, the late Queen Mother often mocked our wartime enemies. Writing to a niece during the Blitz, she signed off with, ‘Tinkety tonk old fruit and down with the Nazis.’