THE committee

which meets to give me something to write about has again been working overtime.

Where else could a plan to put cows in hi-viz jackets have come from? That was the proposal put forward by councillors in Hungerford, Berkshire, to cut the number of stray cattle being hit by cars. It was also suggested they could be fitted with flashing lights.

This would have the added advantage of making escaped cows an easier target for police marksmen.

Sadly, the idea was ruled out on cost grounds and a cheaper solution is being sought. They could try issuing the cows with Asbos.

Mail reader Peter Couch has sent me a clipping from the Plymouth Herald, which reports that a group of randy peacocks is keeping neighbours awake at night with their noisy mating calls. The authorities are now seeking to slap a noise-abatement Asbo on their owner.

Meanwhile, the militant animal rights group PETA wants Brentwood council, in Essex, to erect a roadside memorial to a lorryload of sheep killed in a crash at the Halfway House roundabout where the A127 meets the A128. Perhaps they collided with a stray cow who had forgotten to wear his hi-viz jacket.

PETA thinks this memorial will encourage people to go vegan by reminding them of the hazards involved in transporting sheep to abbatoirs.

I’m not sure I see the logic in that, but it has given me an idea. I’ve still got a few Portashrines in the lock-up, left over from the Pray 4 Muamba business.

If I peel off the teddy bears and replace them with Shaun the Sheep dolls, I could be on to a winner.