Scottish Daily Mail

Muppet break-up is just porkies

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KERMIT and miss Piggy have broken up just in time to publicise their new muppet movie. as i often muse to myself when thinking about comedian Russell Brand’s latest publicity stunt, how cynical can a pig get?

‘This is our only comment on this private matter, unless we get the right offer,’ said miss Piggy, a porcine echo of the pragmatic realities of too many celebrity splits to mention.

Still, there i s no doubt that breaking up remains hard to do, no matter how famous you might be. Harry Potter actress Emma Watson revealed this week that she took herself off to a silent retreat to get over breaking up with England rugby star matthew Janney.

Perrie Edwards, of girl band little mix, is said to be distraught at being dumped by Zayn malik, formerly of One Direction.

and over on Hollywood’s a-list, poor Jennifer Garner can hardly be thrilled at the photograph­s that have emerged of her husband Ben affleck’s late-night assignatio­n with the nanny of their children.

However, the good news is that a study has revealed that though women suffer more emotionall­y than men from a break-up, we get over it quicker. We talk it out together, we eat ice cream, we cry and heal and we mend.

Going out on another date might be the last thing on our minds, but we get there eventually.

men, on the other hand, are like helicopter­s. They move onto the next landing strip pretty quickly. However, apparently, this ‘does not mean they are over you’.

i don’t think that is going to be much consolatio­n to Jennifer.

 ??  ?? Split? Miss Piggy and Kermit
Split? Miss Piggy and Kermit

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