JONATHAN CAINER

Hi Jonathan, I hear eight planets enter alignment on August 8. Is this true? What does it mean? Gina Dear Gina, If anything is ‘big’ in August, it’s the rare ‘finger of Fate’ alignment due at the end of the month. Eight planets will absolutely not align tomorrow, but some of my more ‘far-out’ friends seem to think the numerology of this day opens a ‘lion’s gate’ through which beings from another dimension will descend to enlighten us. Far be it from me to rain on their parade. Let’s all prepare to welcome angels, aliens and ethereal beings!

ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 THERE is a difference between what’s happening and what seems to be happening. It is a distinction to remain aware of. You may well wish to dive deep into the illusion, to close your eyes and dream or keep them open whilst still pretending that what you are seeing means something slightly different to what it actually is. We often engage in such exercises for pleasure and that’s fine, so long as we do so consciously. But what’s not so fine, this weekend, is to give yourself pain by reading too much menace into an insubstantial threat. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS Apr 21 — May 21 SOME people don’t really need to speak. We just know what they are going to say. Or, at least, we think we know. Thus, we don’t really listen when they do speak. Which means they really don’t need to speak, because if they do, they won’t be heard! Productive conversations must be based on a willingness to hear (and an expectation of hearing) something new. Yet novelty can be destabilising, which is why so many of us prefer predictable familiarity, dull though it may be. Take a chance this weekend. It will pay off. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! Change your life: 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May 22 — June 22 VERY few things can be conjured out of thin air. But then, unless you happen to be a stage illusionist looking for a new trick, why should that matter? The little which can go from nothing to something in the blink of an eye is so precious and amazing that we never tire of seeing the transformation. Think, for example, about watching a match being struck in the darkness. Or of being in a situation that seems hopeless and suddenly having one idea that makes everything seem inspiring. Such a moment awaits you this weekend. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June 23 — July 23 SOME tasks are thankless. We put our backs into plans, projects, duties and chores. We do what needs to be done because it needs to be done. We may fully understand that few will notice and even fewer will express appreciation. But that’s hardly a reason to hold back. It can, though, be galling to watch one person being feted for some minor achievement while another, who has made a contribution that is at least as meaningful, is overlooked. If you do the right thing, this weekend, it will turn out to be the best thing. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! Change your life: 0906 751 5604.

LEO July 24 — Aug 23 ARE these the conditions for a perfect storm? Is all just where it needs to be? If so, for what? Are you about to witness some marvellous drama that might never unfold in the same way under any other circumstance? Do you stand on the threshold of making a rare discovery that leads to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? That may well be the case. Far less likely, regardless of how concerned you may feel, is the emergence of an awkward challenge that dominates your entire weekend. Turn your apprehension into anticipation. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23 THINGS ought to go well for you today. Your outlook for the weekend is encouraging. Now, that isn’t a guarantee of unlimited success. The Lottery may be no more winnable than ever. Attractive individuals won’t necessarily swoon at your feet, declaring that they can go no further unless you revive them with a kiss. Pots of gold at the end of rainbows may be unlikely, too. But, then again, who am I to tell you that all (or any) of this can’t happen? You may yet have something to celebrate. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your fourminute forecast. Hear it! Change your life: 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 PEOPLE sometimes talk about ‘old souls’. Some babies are seemingly born with a worldly-wise look and such serenity that one might imagine they had been here since the dawn of time. Until, that is, they get hungry or need changing. Then we see how ‘young at heart’ they really are! There is nothing wrong with being mature and experienced, nor is there some supreme virtue in being innocent and naive. But if you want to be as successful, this weekend, as you deserve to be, You will view life through both lenses. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22 ‘ONE man’s meat is another’s poison.’ So goes the old saying, and it’s true, especially if the ‘other’ happens to be a vegetarian! Things which are a big deal to some of us can seem almost irrelevant not just to strangers. but to friends, companions, even partners. No matter how hard we try, we may never understand why some folk feel the way they feel or believe what they believe. But whether we understand it or not, we can surely always find a way to at least respect it. That’s all that is called for this weekend. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! Change your life: 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21 THEY say that some emotions are like coins. Take love — if we flip that over, don’t we tend to find hate? And what about the symbiotic relationship between happiness and sadness? There are even some who say that the experience of feeling wildly cheerful is just the mirror image (or the converse side) of feeling deeply subdued. Some such connections are not quite as obvious as others. Fear and faith, for instance. If an emotional coin lands the wrong way up in your life this weekend, you may yet be able to turn it. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN Dec 22 — Jan 20 MOBILE phones have a lot to answer for. Once, when these devices were just a gleam in the eye of a science fiction author, we all had to make do and manage with landlines and public phone boxes. And as these had limited value when we were out and about, last-minute changes of arrangements either couldn’t happen at all or had to rely on a large amount of telepathy, psychic signalling and mental messaging. Most of us never gave it such a name. We just put it down to luck. Heed your inner radar this weekend. It works! I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! Change your life: 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS Jan 21 — Feb 19 ‘HURRY, offer must end soon!’ Students learn this on their first day at The School Of Sales And Marketing. It is as important a lesson as, ‘This may be the last opportunity, and someone else has already expressed a keen interest.’ With variations on such subtle, psychological, techniques, we all baffle and bamboozle one another into wanting this and agreeing to that. Where there is a source of conflict or frustration in your life this weekend, look for a way instead to make an offer that someone can hardly refuse. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5611.

PISCES Feb 20 — Mar 20 AND that concludes your forecast for the weekend. Or does it? Have I just put the end before the beginning and created confusion? Would it all make so much more sense if I were to put the opening sentence at the end? Ah, but then, isn’t that the very message that the cosmos is now so keen to communicate to you? You’ve got all you need in order to help you get all you want. But first, you must find the patience to untangle a bit of a mess and put something in a different order. Go back to the start for an end that makes sense. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! Change your life: 0906 751 5612.