Whisper it, but Bake Off is just so BORING
Now, I realise that what I am about to say is sacrilege and liable to see me pelted with custard pies in supermarket aisles. But here goes: I find the Great British Bake off BORING! Not just a tad tedious, but mind-numbingly, yawn-makingly dull.
Yes, I know 9.3 million people watched the show when it returned on wednesday night. I was among them, hoping for a glimmer of something fresh, original and exciting.
But when a show’s highlight is a tattooed man putting beetroot into his black forest gateau you start to wonder if Bake off’s not only past its sell-by date, but starting to turn mouldy.
I, too, was once a true believer. when the show started in 2010 it was a breath of fresh air and a nostalgic return to the simpler things in life. who wouldn’t want Mary Berry to be their very own butter-scented grandma?
But six interminable series later, its ingredients have curdled into a formula that’s about as exciting as . . . well, as watching a few random strangers trying to bake a madeira cake in a tent.
It’s bad enough this year’s contestants seem to have been selected less on their ability to make a perfect victoria sandwich than by all the diversity and inclusivity boxes the BBC could tick. As for Mel and Sue — their increasingly desperate puns about ‘ tempting buns’ and ‘ perfect cracks’ make Benny Hill l ook sophisticated. Is this really what primetime family TV has turned into?
Forgive me for being po-faced, but when Britain is experiencing a crippling obesity crisis, is encouraging people to stuff their faces with choccy cake and plump pies the wisest idea?
Ah, say Bake off fans, at least it encourages people into the kitchen. True, but only by cruel deception.
Those ‘showstopper’ bakes may look impressive, but Bake off barely hints at the hassle it would take to recreate them at home — the trek to find the right ingredients; the crisis when you realise you’ve got the wrong sized baking tin; the hours spent scrubbing cake mix off the ceiling when you didn’t put the mixer lid on properly.
And who has three hours to bake, anyway? In 1975, Superwoman Shirley Conran freed women from the chains of the kitchen by declaring: ‘Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom.’ For me, and I suspect many others, it’s too short to watch the once Great British Bake off.