JONATHAN CAINER

Hello Jonathan, Imagine what existence must be like for an all-knowing being: predictable and boring. Where is the fun in that? But knowledge is not the same thing as prediction. If this being truly knows all, they surely also know how to render knowledge unpredictable. All that’s required to set up a dynamic system from which unpredictable events can arise is to create time and free agents. Maybe the point of existence is discovery! Michele Dear Michele, How interesting that this discussion about free will has got some of us wondering what it is like to be God!

ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 Wea are all creatures of contradiction. We revel in the unlikely and adore the apparently impossible. Yet we also value (and even claim to crave) normality, sanity and practicality. We want what we can have and, even if we don’t want it, we want to want it because then, at least, we’ll be in with some chance of satisfaction! Yet oh, how we also want what we cannot have. It is, by an extension of this argument, normal and natural to be abnormal and unnatural. And, as you’ll see this week, that’s no bad thing. the Moon is new; your future can be revealed and changed. For inspiring news, call 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS Apr 21 — May 21 WERE All pleased to be here, but we are suspicious of the place, too. We suspect we live in the land of false promises where few things are quite as they seem and the most attractive propositions have hidden drawbacks. And it isn’t just the land, either. Think of the sea — how beautiful, majestic, glorious and inviting it is, yet also potentially dangerous. We have long since learned to attach a note of caution to every hopeful new idea. But this week, you may yet find you are safe to trust a vision. i’ve got so much more to tell you. let the mystic light of the new Moon guide you to a better future. call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May 22 — June 22 Are you sure you are reading the right forecast? And if you are, perhaps you are reading it in the wrong way. Maybe you are sitting or standing in an inappropriate position. And what on earth are you wearing? Why did you think that was a good idea? Surely, if I keep this up much longer, you will start to realise that the more I criticise you, the more entitled you are to criticise me. But your great cosmic challenge, this week, is to go beyond all faultfinding and seek, instead, that which deserves praise. You will find plenty. the Moon is new; your future can be revealed and changed. For inspiring news, call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June 23 — July 23 You are someone special. You don’t have to pretend. Nor need you change. And in the word special, no euphemism is intended, nor is this veiled criticism. I’m tempted to say it is time you became more confident about what you have to offer, but there are some who say that you are special because of your reluctance to swagger and self-publicise. Lest you believe that view, I must be clear. This week, even if it seems arrogant to believe in yourself, you can at least be humble enough to let others believe in you! i’ve got so much more to tell you. let the mystic light of the new Moon guide you to a better future. call 0906 751 5604.

LEO July 24 — Aug 23 You are on your way Your journey has begun. You may have a lot further to go and you may encounter many challenges ahead. But at least you have set off and there is no reason to fear that you will not eventually reach your destination. Now that Jupiter has moved out of your sign, it will be another decade before it returns. By then, you will be more than ten years older and the positive choices that you have lately, bravely, made, will have paid off most handsomely. You will see your first sign of that, this week. the Moon is new; your future can be revealed and changed. For inspiring news, call 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23 Are we taking to each other? Or am I just talking while you listen? And if so, how can this be satisfactory? Surely we need a dialogue, not monologue. And you need a chat, not a lecture. But as your astrologer, while I may not be able to listen to every word you wish to say to me, I am at least able to hear the message that the cosmos is keen to impart about the direction that your life may be able to take next. This week it says: ‘Try to be similarly sensitive to someone else’s highest objective. This may explain and help a lot.’ i’ve got so much more to tell you. let the mystic light of the new Moon guide you to a better future. call 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 Theres no point in talking to the monkey when you need a conversation with the organgrinder. Sorry for starting your forecast with such an archaic image. Let’s bring it kicking and screaming into the 21st century. If you aren’t happy with the gameplay in Angry Birds, don’t complain to the company who made your tablet or smartphone, send an email to the software developer. Anyway, it amounts to the same thing. The only message you need heed this week: consider what must be said to whom. the Moon is new; your future can be revealed and changed. For inspiring news, call 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22 WE WONT Say goodnight until the last minute, I’ll hold out my hand and my heart will be in it...’ So goes the song For All We Know, which many associate with Nat King Cole. I quote it to you this week because there’s something apt about the idea of holding your heart in your hands. Alongside this, it’s possible you may feel as if your heart is in someone else’s hands. That’s a vulnerable position to be in or even to imagine yourself to be in. Yet your outlook implies greater strength than you might imagine. i’ve got so much more to tell you. let the mystic light of the new Moon guide you to a better future. call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21 Are you good at what you do? Well, you are good at being you and a lot of what you do involves being you. That raises a question. If, as the Bard so memorably put it, ‘All the world’s a stage,’ are you happy with your part? Do you think, perhaps, that your character requires greater definition and might benefit from one or two modifications of personality? Then this is your lucky week! Whatever else you can or cannot change now, you can alter an aspect of yourself in a way that can only lead to great gain. the Moon is new; your future can be revealed and changed. For inspiring news, call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN SOME Dec 22 — Jan 20 astrological messages are easier to convey than others. Strangely, and frustratingly, times of trouble and tension are easier to write about. They naturally inspire vivid analogies and thought-provoking commentaries. Good times, by contrast, are great to experience, but dull to describe. So you can be encouraged by how I doubt my ability to keep your prediction interesting this week. No matter what you face or how you feel, there’s really just one piece of advice to give. Keep going and all will be well. i’ve got so much more to tell you. let the mystic light of the new Moon guide you to a better future. call 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS GREAT Jan 21 — Feb 19 persuaders say that if you want to help an idea gain momentum, there are better ways than to become a passionate advocate. Enthusiasm may be infectious, but it also invites counterargument. Some folk instinctively rail against anything that appears to be being foisted upon them, even if it might well be to their advantage. Better by far to plant a thought as if it were a seed, then let it slowly take root in the mind of the recipient. This week, you can make someone think your idea is theirs. the Moon is new; your future can be revealed and changed. For inspiring news, call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES Feb 20 - Mar 20 SOME dogs get very excited when strangers walk by. They bark, shout and jump. Yet that isn’t any guarantee that they would provide even the mildest kind of alert and protection in the event of an actual burglary. It seems, in the 21st century, that it isn’t just humans who have lost their ability to distinguish between a real threat and an imaginary one. You have many better things to do this week than waste energy on an unnecessary battle or a fruitless pursuit. That’s why clarity should be your highest objective. i’ve got so much more to tell you. let the mystic light of the new Moon guide you to a better future. call 0906 751 5612.