Wellies, brolly, drizzle ... we’re on duckation!
IT’S A hectic time for holiday-based words. First to enter the English language was ‘Staycation’, meaning a holiday spent at home. This has recently been joined by ‘Nakation’, meaning a holiday in the nude. This handy, cut-out-and-keep guide introduces you to all the other new holiday words that may be destined to appear in the months and years to come. AFFRAYCATION: A holiday spent fighting in a public place. ‘My fellow football hooligans and I thoroughly enjoyed our recent affraycation, with punch-ups in all the most historic stadiums of Europe.’ BRAYCATION: A holiday tailor-made for upper-middle- class English families who want to shout at each other across shops and beaches, employing popular Braycationing phrases such as: ‘Tarquin, have you remembered the Ambre Solaire?’ and ‘Arabella, do you think we should get a couple more bottles of the Sauvignon Blanc?’ CHUCKATION: Awkward break at home or abroad during which one member of a couple announces to the other over a candlelit dinner: ‘ Let’s face it, we both know this isn’t going anywhere and t hough we will always love one another, you must realise we’ve been gr owing apart and, let’s face it, our relationship seems to have come to its natural end,’ or something similar. DAYCATI O N: 24-hour break f or t he busy family. ‘We decided to go to Cornwall for our daycation this year. The traffic was frightful, of course, but we managed to enjoy very nearly an hour i n Trebetherick before having to set off home again.’ DELAYCATION: Any 2015 summer holiday beginning or ending with a trip through the Channel Tunnel. ‘The wonderful thing about taking a delaycation is that when you’re stuck in those queues it makes one week seem like three.’ DISMAYCATION: You want a sundrenched villa overlooking the azure sea; you’d settle for a cottage overlooking a greyish sea; but you get a concrete bungalow surrounded by high-rises and overlooking a bottle bank. DISPLAYCATION: Holiday chosen with the primary purpose of boasting about it afterwards. ‘The Joneses are going on another of their displaycations to India this year. They say it’s going to cost them well over £10,000, and they’re flying first class everywhere. But at least they’ll get to see the Taj Mahal. On their return, they’ve invited all their friends round to view their slides and take a look at their receipts.’ DOWNPLAYCATION: ‘ Unlike t he Joneses, we’re going somewhere fairly cheap this year, without a sea view and i n an area of no historical interest. There may be a swimming pool nearby, but, if there is, it’ll probably be pretty full. That’s the sort of downplaycation I quite like.’ DUCKATION: Holiday spent in wellington boots, cowering under an umbrella. ‘ This year we’ve decided to rent somewhere in Scotland for our duckation. Luckily, the cottage has central heating and a spin-dryer.’ FAKATION: Opportunity to pretend that one has been somewhere tremendously exotic while secretly remaining at home with the curtains drawn, eating takeaway pizzas. ‘Last November, we took a once- in- a- lifetime fakation to Kathmandu, dropping off in Sydney, San Francisco, Reykjavik, Milan and Paris on the way back. Meanwhile, we caught up on the complete box- sets of Inspector Morse, Lewis and Downton Abbey.’
GREYCATION: Fortnight spent lying on a sunlounger catching up on the latest work by E.L. James. ‘After this year’s greycation at a hotel in Portugal, I felt completely whacked out.’ HAYCATION: Ten days l i stening to selfimportant authors talk about themselves in a large t e nt in Wales. ‘We’re very much looking forward to hearing A. S. Byatt and Simon Schama on our Haycation this year.’ MAYCATION: Weekend spent with Brian May of Queen, l argely occupied with playing air guitar and listening to interminable talks on how to Save the Badger. MISLAYCATION: ‘Now what did I do with my passport? I’m sure I put it in the second drawer down. Did someone move it without telling me? And where’s my room key? I know I didn’t put it in my back pocket, because that’s where I put my credit card when it went missing the day before yesterday. Do you think I should ring up the bank to report it missing? And now what did I do with that plane ticket..?’ MOTORWAYCATION: European holiday spent queuing on autobahns, autostradas and autoroutes because someone had the bright idea that it would be rather fun this year to drive rather than fly. ‘Our motorwaycation this year was on the A89 somewhere between Bordeaux and Lyon. Apart from heavy congestion, it really couldn’t have been more agreeable, given all the accidents.’ NEIGHCATION: A week surrounded by noisy horses.
Part 2 on Thursday.